Cassie and Ex Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs Amicably Resolve Rape and Abuse Lawsuit

November 18, 2023

Buckle up for the rollercoaster update on Cassie’s legal tango with Sean “Diddy” Combs! In the latest plot twist of this soap opera, the “Me & U” maestro, at a sprightly 37 years young, has flung a lawsuit grenade at the 54-year-old music mogul, accusing him of a decade-long stint in the realms of both romance and abuse. Talk about a melody gone wrong!

But lo and behold, just as we were grabbing our popcorn for the legal drama marathon, the dynamic duo dropped a bombshell update on us. It seems like the courtroom showdown turned into a comedy club routine, as they decided to wrap up the whole shebang just one day after the legal papers were shuffled around like a deck of cards.

In a statement that probably left lawyers scratching their heads, Cassie declared, “I’ve decided to settle this matter amicably, you know, on terms where I still have a smidgen of control.” Cue the dramatic mic drop!

Diddy, not one to be outdone in the theatrics department, chimed in with, “Big thanks to my squad – that’s family, fans, and lawyers – you guys rock. We’re putting a lid on this kettle of legal fish amicably. Best wishes to Cassie and her kin. Love, peace, and music vibes.” Did someone say “amicably” enough times to make it the word of the day?

From legal showdown to love and peace in 24 hours. The music mogul and the melody maestro have decided to turn down the legal volume and crank up the harmony. Can we get a round of applause for the quickest legal detour in history? Bravo, Cassie and Diddy, bravo!

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Taylor Swift Tributes Brazilian Fan Who Died Before Her Show

November 18, 2023

In a plot twist that even Taylor Swift couldn’t have penned, our favorite pop sensation found herself in a situation that could rival the most dramatic episodes of her own songs. Hold on to your sparkly hats – a Swiftie sadly bid adieu to this mortal coil just before Taylor’s concert in Rio de Janeiro!

Swift took to her trusty Instagram Story, and brace yourselves, because she’s not opening with a joke this time. “I can’t believe I’m writing these words, but it is with a shattered heart that I say we lost a fan earlier tonight before my show,” she began, proving that even pop icons can’t escape the curveballs life throws at them.

In a twist that could make even the most die-hard Swifties reach for their tissues, Taylor shared, “I can’t even tell you how devastated I am by this. There’s very little information I have other than the fact that she was incredibly beautiful and far too young.” Cue the collective gasp from Swifties worldwide, who probably thought the biggest drama at a Taylor Swift concert would be deciding which glow stick to wave.

Taylor confessed she won’t be turning this into an emotional ballad on stage. “I’m not going to be able to speak about this from stage because I feel overwhelmed by grief when I even try to talk about it.” Who could blame her? Even the most seasoned performers would struggle to hit those high notes while dealing with such unexpected fanfare.

In a plot twist worthy of a Shakespearean tragedy (or a Taylor Swift album), our fearless queen continued, “I want to say now I feel this loss deeply, and my broken heart goes out to her family and friends. This is the last thing I ever thought would happen when we decided to bring this tour to Brazil.” It seems Brazil had a surprise in store that not even Taylor could shake off.

And as the mystery of the fan’s demise remains unsolved, Taylor took a moment to play concert paramedic, pausing the show to pass out water to dehydrated fans. Because when life hands you lemons, you pass out water bottles, right? Here’s to hoping the rest of Taylor’s tour is filled with less drama and more catchy tunes – after all, nobody wants a repeat of this heart-wrenching surprise in the next city!

Taylor Swift Tributes Brazilian Fan Who Died Before Her Show

Meek Mill Follows in Snoop Dogg’s Footsteps, Says He’s Giving Up Smoking Addiction Too

November 18, 2023

Guess what? Meek Mill is about to embark on a wild journey of lifestyle transformation, and it’s not your typical “New Year, New Me” resolution. Taking a page out of Snoop Dogg’s book, the “Dreams and Nightmares” rapper is ready to bid farewell to his smoky companionship.

In a tweet that shook the virtual grounds of X (formerly known as Twitter), Meek declared, “Ima wuit once I go cold in Dubai …. Snoop start the no smoking challenge we gone follow up! It’s not healthy for me!” Move over, nicotine cravings; Meek is packing his bags for a smoke-free oasis in the Middle East.

But hold on, it’s not just about breaking up with the puff-puff life for Meek. He’s got reasons, and they’re not just your run-of-the-mill excuses. In a follow-up post that had the internet raising eyebrows, Meek spilled the beans on his decision, and it’s not just about maintaining a clean lung record.

“Ima go to Dubai and completely stop smoking … ima follow snoop, my doctor said I got a lil bit emphysema in a chest if I don’t stop smoking it cuts my lifeline in half,” Meek confessed, dropping the bombshell. Emphysemas! Not your everyday hangover cure but a lung condition that plays hardball with your breath, according to the Mayo Clinic.

And if that wasn’t enough to make you gasp for air, Meek continued his revelation, exposing the dark side of the greenery. “I was addicted to the nicotine and this new weed got too many chemicals and too risky to play with my mental!” Who knew the road to enlightenment involved bidding adieu to both the Marlboros and the Mary Janes?

So, buckle up, because Meek Mill is about to swap his smokes for sheikhs, and his journey to a smoke-free life might just be the comedy special we never knew we needed. Move over, health concerns; Meek’s got jokes and a ticket to Dubai, where the only clouds he’ll be chasing are the ones in the sky!

Ima wuit once I go cold in Dubai …. Snoop start the no smoking challenge we gone follow up! It’s not healthy for me! https://t.co/NYAJ9BzJ6e

— MeekMill (@MeekMill) November 16, 2023

Simu Liu Releases New EP ”ANXIOUS-AVOIDANT’

November 18, 2023

Simu Liu just unleashed his EP, and guess what? He didn’t conjure it out of thin air—nope, he had a secret weapon in his musical arsenal, and it goes by the name of Joe Jonas!

The 34-year-old martial arts maestro, also known as the hero of Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, dropped his four-track EP, the creatively named ANXIOUS-AVOIDANT, like a ninja on a Friday (November 17). Move over, Taylor Swift, there’s a new musical maestro in town!

In a move that would make Barbie herself blush, Simu took to Instagram to flaunt his musical conquest. He spilled the beans, or should I say, the musical notes, about collaborating with “incredibly talented artists” for this EP. Four songs were birthed from this creative collaboration, and Simu is practically bursting with excitement for us to listen.

Hold onto your karate belts because the bombshell is about to drop—Simu spilled the tea that his soul-stirring anthem, “Break My Heart,” wasn’t just a solo mission. Oh no, he had a co-pilot, and that co-pilot answers to the name Joe Jonas! Yes, the same Joe Jonas who probably can’t resist breaking into a rendition of “Burnin’ Up” even in the grocery store.

Simu, the lyrical wordsmith, took us on a rollercoaster of emotions as he spilled the beans on what fueled the creation of ANXIOUS-AVOIDANT. Brace yourselves for a journey from love and sex to heartbreak and depression—because Simu is not just a superhero on the screen; he’s a maestro of melancholy in the studio.

In his Instagram post, Simu spilled the beans, or spilled the artistic tea, rather, about the EP being a reflection of his personal escapades through the maze of life. He urged us, the lucky audience, to lend our ears to his musical masterpiece on this fine Friday. And, of course, he couldn’t resist showering gratitude like confetti on everyone who hopped aboard his artistic rollercoaster.

Move over, Shakespeare, there’s a new playwright in town, and he’s kicking butt both on-screen and in the music charts. Simu Liu, the man of many talents, has officially conquered another realm—the realm of musical mayhem! So, grab your headphones, buckle up, and get ready to be serenaded by the superhero of sound.

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Timothee Chalamet Exudes Matrix Vibes While Arriving in Japan

November 18, 2023

Guess who just touched down in Japan? None other than the dazzling Timothee Chalamet! The 27-year-old heartthrob from Little Women strutted his stuff through Narita International Airport like he owned the place, and let me tell you, it was a sight to behold.

Looking like he just stepped out of a sci-fi blockbuster, our man Timothee decided to rock the Keanu Reeves vibe. Picture this: a 27-year-old Neo from The Matrix, but with a dash of Chalamet charm. He sauntered through the airport in a black latex trenchcoat that probably has its own fan club, teamed up with an all-black ensemble that screamed, “I’m too cool for regular colors,” and of course, sunglasses that could rival any Hollywood A-lister’s collection.

A fresh trailer for Timothee’s upcoming flick, Wonka, just dropped, and brace yourselves – we finally get to hear him sing. Move over, shower singers; Chalamet’s bringing his vocal A-game to the big screen. Mark your calendars because Wonka hits theaters on December 15, and it’s about to become the hottest ticket in town.

Hold on to your hats (or trenchcoats), because there’s more Timothee news! The release of his eagerly anticipated movie, Dune: Part Two, is doing the time warp and getting pushed up. Why, you ask? Well, the SAG-AFTRA strike has ended, and what better way to celebrate than giving the people what they want – more Chalamet on the big screen! Stay tuned for the new release date and prepare for a Chalamet-filled extravaganza.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering about the fashion details, because let’s face it, we all are – Timothee was strutting his stuff in an Avellano coat, Loewe pants, and Jacques Marie Mage sunglasses. Fashion icon, movie star, and now, the guy who brought trenchcoats back – is there anything Timothee Chalamet can’t do?

Timothee Chalamet Exudes Matrix Vibes While Arriving in Japan

‘Friends’ Cast to Re-Unite at the Emmys to Tribute Matthew Perry

November 17, 2023

Breaking News: The Friends Cast Gearing Up for a Hilarious Tribute to Matthew Perry

Hold on to your Central Perk mugs! Word on the Hollywood streets is that the iconic Friends cast—Matt Le Blanc, Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Lisa Kudrow, and Courteney Cox—are cooking up a side-splitting tribute for their late co-star, Matthew Perry.

What’s the scoop? Well, these fab five are set to spill the beans on some seriously intimate memories at the Emmy Awards in January 2024. Move over, red carpet drama! This is the Friends reunion we didn’t know we needed.

Why, you ask? Because our beloved Chandler Bing (aka Matthew Perry) deserves to be in the spotlight one more time. And what better way to honor him than with a tribute that’ll have us laughing, crying, and wishing we could’ve been a fly on the wall of Monica’s apartment.

For those of you living under a Central Perk-shaped rock, Matthew Perry was the maestro behind Chandler’s quick-witted one-liners. We’re talking about a man who turned sarcasm into an art form.

The gang is vying for a spot in the prestigious “In Memorium” segment at the Emmy Awards. Because let’s face it, when you’ve given the world a decade of sarcastic quips and unforgettable moments, a little extra recognition is only fair.

Since the heartbreaking news of Perry’s passing (RIP, Chandler), Friends celebrities have been pouring their hearts out on Instagram. Matt Le Blanc reminisced about the good times, Jennifer Aniston shared a screenshot of a heartfelt message from the man himself (texts to be cherished forever, of course), and David Schwimmer thanked Perry for a glorious decade of laughter and creativity.

Lisa Kudrow, our favorite eccentric Phoebe, posted a photo with a caption that pretty much sums up the essence of their friendship: “Thanks for making me laugh so hard that my abs got a better workout than my entire gym routine, and tears streamed down my face EVERY DAY.”

And, last but not least, Courteney Cox, who worked closely with Perry, shared a sentiment that has us reaching for the tissues: “When you work with someone as closely as I did with Matthew, there are thousands of moments I wish I could share.”

So, buckle up, Friends fans! The Emmy Awards are about to get a dose of Chandler Bing-style humor, courtesy of the fantastic Friends cast. Get ready for laughs, tears, and a whole lot of nostalgia as we celebrate the life and legacy of the man who made sarcasm cool. Could we BE any more excited?

Tate McRae Opens Up About Her Alter-Ego Tatiana

November 17, 2023

Tate McRae is not just any pop sensation, she’s the musical lovechild of Madonna, Britney Spears, and Christina Aguilera! In a recent interview that was probably as iconic as a cat wearing sunglasses, the 20-year-old “Greedy” singer spilled the beans on her rise to stardom and the secret weapon in her musical arsenal – her alter ego, the one and only Tatiana!

Billboard got the exclusive scoop, and Tate didn’t hold back. When asked about her inspirations, she didn’t say, “Oh, you know, just a few small-time artists like Madonna and Britney.” No, she went full throttle, declaring, “I want to be like them – the biggest pop stars who could turn a mundane Tuesday into a glittery, confetti-filled extravaganza!”

And about her alter ego, Tatiana? Brace yourself. Tate described her as “ballsy, so loud and obnoxious.” Clearly, Tatiana is the life of the party, the friend who always dares you to do something wild and then cheers you on as you do it. Tate took this bold attitude straight to the recording studio because who needs subtlety when you can be loud, proud, and a little obnoxious?

“I just want to say what I want to say and be 20 years old,” Tate declared. No more overthinking, no more deep contemplation – just pure, unadulterated fun. It’s like she threw caution to the wind, but instead of caution, it was more like a glitter bomb of carefree vibes and youthful rebellion.

So, get ready for Tate McRae to unleash timeless art and performances that will make you question why you ever bothered with mundane, non-glitter-filled Tuesdays. And remember, when you listen to her music, Tatiana is right there with her, being bold, loud, and just a little bit obnoxious – because life’s too short to be subtle!

Ray J’s Manager Opens Up About Kim Kardashian Sex Tape in New ‘House of Kardashian’ Documentary

November 17, 2023

We’re about to dive into the scandalous saga that is the Kim Kardashian and Ray J sex tape – the racy reel that turned the KarJenner world upside down! Picture this: a documentary so jaw-droppingly wild, it makes your grandma’s knitting circle look like a Sunday tea party.

Meet our guide to the glittery universe of Hollywood mischief, the one and only David Weintraub. He spills the juicy beans on Ray J and Kim’s love story, and trust us, it’s a rollercoaster of obsession, young love, and closets that would make Cinderella jealous.

According to the man with the inside scoop, Ray J was head over heels for Kim, and Kim was head over heels for Ray J. It was a love affair more intense than a heated debate over pineapple on pizza – a crazy, wild, young love that set the stage for the scandal of the century.

Now, let’s talk about Kim’s journey from being “fame-adjacent” to the sultaness of the spotlight. Apparently, she took lessons from the queen herself, Paris Hilton. As Kim organized Paris’ closet, Ray J, the love-struck maestro, whispered sweet nothings into Kim’s ear, encouraging her to reach the same heights of fame as the hotel heiress.

Picture this: a “wild” birthday trip to Mexico, where the lovebirds decided to film, well, a lot of stuff. We’re talking glossy and beautiful footage, shot in the lap of luxury – private jets, hotel suites, the whole shebang. It was a blockbuster in the making.

David spills the beans (or should we say tequila?) that Kim and Ray J had grand plans for their intimate footage. They wanted to release it and watch their careers skyrocket like a caffeinated rocket on New Year’s Eve. Kim even confided in her momager extraordinaire, Kris Jenner, saying, “Hey, this might be nuts, but what if we use this as a tool to catapult our family and business to the next level?”

According to David, Kris was the puppet master behind the scenes, pulling strings and negotiating deals like a boss. He swears by the fact that Kris’ tight relationship with Joe Francis, the mastermind behind Girls Gone Wild, was the secret sauce that made this scandal a marketable masterpiece.

Fast forward to 2007, and bam! “Kim Kardashian, Superstar” was unleashed upon the world. Rumors swirled faster than a Kardashian contouring tutorial that Kris and Kim intentionally leaked the tape, but they denied it like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

In the aftermath, Kim became a household name, and the Kardashian empire was born. With a dash of controversy, a sprinkle of nudity, and a whole lot of audacity, the KarJenners conquered the world, proving that in their universe, scandal is just another word for stardom. So buckle up, buttercups, because the House of Kardashian has more drama than your favorite reality show – and this time, it’s real!

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are “Keeping Their Distance” From Omid Scobie

November 17, 2023

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are playing a game of literary hide-and-seek with none other than Omid Scobie, the maestro behind the tell-all tales.

In a move that’s more dramatic than a soap opera plot twist, Meghan spilled the tea that Scobie had a helping hand from a former assistant in birthing his debut masterpiece, “Finding Freedom.” Talk about a royal ghostwriter! The biography, which spilled the royal beans on Harry and Meghan’s marriage and their not-so-happily-ever-after with the Royal Family, hit the shelves in August 2020 like a scandalous hurricane.

Turns out, the book was allegedly as unauthorized as a corgi chewing on the Queen’s favorite slippers. Meghan, however, was later revealed to be the puppet master pulling the strings all along. Cue the gasps from the royal gallery.

Fast forward to the present, and it seems our dynamic duo, Harry and Meghan, are doing the royal moonwalk away from Scobie’s latest creation, “Endgame.” This “explosive” masterpiece is set to detonate this month, and it’s got the Sussexes doing the cha-cha away from the author faster than you can say, “God save the Queen!”

Scobie, who once held the prestigious title of Meghan’s spokesperson, is desperately trying to shake off rumors that he’s bosom buddies with the Duchess. In a tweet that probably had the Queen clutching her pearls, Scobie declared, “Let’s get this nonsense out the way – #ENDGAME is about the current state of the British Royal Family. It’s not ‘Harry and Meghan’s book,’ I’m not ‘Meg’s pal.’ The Sussexes have nothing to do with it.” Well, isn’t that the royal cherry on top?

“Endgame” promises to be a deeper dive into the monarchy’s current state, featuring an unpopular king, a power-hungry heir, a queen willing to do anything to save face, and a prince starting fresh after a good old-fashioned royal betrayal. Move over, Shakespeare; there’s a new drama unfolding in the palace.

Despite their cameo in Scobie’s first act, insiders from the Sussex camp are singing a different tune to the MailOnline. Apparently, Harry and Meghan are as innocent as a pair of swans gliding across a serene pond. They’ve washed their hands clean of Scobie’s latest scribbles, insisting they’ve got nothing to do with this royal circus. Even Omid’s claim that he’s “not Meg’s pal” isn’t enough to convince the skeptics.

Grab your tiaras and hold onto your corgis; this royal rollercoaster is just getting started, and the only thing more unpredictable than the weather in England is the next chapter in the ongoing saga of Harry, Meghan, and the ever-entertaining world of royal gossip.

Taylor Swift Beats Out ‘The Beatles’ on UK Chart

November 17, 2023

Taylor Swift Takes a Hilarious Victory Lap, Outpaces The Beatles in UK Album Chart Marathon!

Move over, Beatles, there’s a new chart conqueror in town, and she’s armed with more sass than a cat meme on the internet. In a plot twist that even Shakespeare would find amusing, Taylor Swift has once again proven she’s the reigning queen of the UK album chart, leaving The Beatles to dust off their mop-top wigs and ponder life’s great mysteries.

The Fab Four, in a valiant attempt to rewrite their chart history, dusted off their timeless classics, the Red and Blue albums, last week. Little did they know, they were about to face a pop juggernaut armed with glitter, catchy tunes, and an unyielding determination to stay at the top.

Taylor’s pop masterpiece, 1989 (Taylor’s Version), not only seized the throne but held onto it for a third week, leaving The Beatles twiddling their mustaches in disbelief. It seems even the ghosts of Abbey Road couldn’t keep up with T-Swizzle’s chart domination.

Back in 1973, when The Beatles first unleashed the Red and Blue albums on the world, they found themselves in a déjà vu situation, much like that time you check the fridge for the tenth time, hoping snacks magically appear. They were beaten to the top by David Bowie’s Young Americans, and history has a wicked sense of humor as it repeats itself.

Fast forward fifty years, and the charts are having a nostalgic reunion with The Beatles’ 1962–1966 Red Album chillin’ at number three and the 1967–1970 Blue Album strutting its stuff at number two. It’s like the charts said, “You were great in the ’60s and ’70s, lads, but T-Swizzle is running the show now.”

But fear not, Beatlemaniacs, because with fifteen UK number one albums overall, The Beatles are still the undisputed champions. It’s like having a lifetime achievement award, but in the form of chart-topping glory.

Rolling Stone once dubbed the original Red and Blue compilations as “eight of the most-perfect album sides ever devised.” Well, move over perfection because Taylor Swift just served up a feast of pop goodness that not even a time-traveling Lennon could resist.

The Beatles threw in some remastered versions of their greatest hits, including a “new” song called Now And Then, a gem resurrected from a John Lennon demo. It’s like finding that missing sock in the laundry—unexpected, but oh-so-satisfying.

In a grand finale, twenty more tracks, featuring classics like Twist and Shout, Taxman, Dear Prudence, and Blackbird, were added to the albums. It’s the musical equivalent of getting bonus fries at the drive-thru—more is always better.

Taylor Swift not only stole the crown but did it with a wink, a mic drop, and probably a cat meme or two. The Beatles may have had their time, but in the words of T-Swizzle herself, “haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, and chart-toppers gonna top, top, top, top, top!”

Travis Kelce Reveals He’s Impressed by Taylor Swift’s Fanbase

November 17, 2023

Travis Kelce recently found himself caught in the whirlwind of Taylor Swift’s fan base, and boy, is he impressed! The Kansas City Chiefs player, a ripe 34 years old, spilled the beans on the Rob Riggle’s Riggle’s Picks podcast on Thursday, November 16. Now, we know Travis isn’t one to spill too much tea about his romance with Taylor, who clocks in at 33, but the podcast host couldn’t resist poking fun, claiming he had a “stack of letters here from Swiftie nation” with questions for the tight end.

When the term “Swiftie nation” was dropped, Travis couldn’t help but acknowledge the sheer enthusiasm of Taylor’s fan base. “That’s a strong nation too, by the way. That’s one of the strongest I’ve ever run into,” he quipped. Picture Travis wading through a sea of devoted fans, armed with glitter pens and Taylor Swift posters, chanting their undying love for the pop sensation. Now that’s a nation with some serious muscle!

But fear not, the podcast wasn’t all seriousness. Rob and his co-hosts took the opportunity to unleash a barrage of jokes about Swifties delving into the intricacies of football. Who knew Taylor’s fan base had a secret playbook on tight ends and touchdown celebrations?

Now, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. The hosts did tease Travis about his relationship with Taylor after the interview, but that was the only snippet where the tight end spilled the beans about his popstar paramour.

And speaking of spilled beans, Travis’ recent trip down to South America to catch Taylor’s “Eras Tour” concert in Buenos Aires was the talk of the town. Taylor even dedicated a lyric change in “Karma” to Travis, crooning, “Karma is the guy on the Chiefs coming straight home to me.” Travis, still recovering from the shock, spilled on his New Heights podcast, “I had no clue… well, I might have had a little bit of a clue, but definitely when I heard it come out of her mouth still shocked me.”

In the game of love, Travis and Taylor are certainly scoring touchdowns! Their romance is so hot that reports suggest Taylor’s parents are set to meet Travis’ folks during the Chiefs’ face-off with the Philadelphia Eagles on November 20. Talk about a family affair! Travis will not only be battling it out on the field but also facing off against his own brother, Jason Kelce, the Eagles’ center. Can you imagine the family dinner conversations after that showdown? The Kelce family gatherings are undoubtedly more intense than a fourth-quarter nail-biter!

Episode 1 with our good friend Travis Kelce is out now! @robriggle https://t.co/drss6nY9xg pic.twitter.com/3UxMwvGoRL

— Riggles Picks Podcast (@RigglesPicks) November 16, 2023

Martha Stewart Isn’t Doing Thanksgiving This Year

November 17, 2023

The Thanksgiving monarchy is in for a royal shake-up this year, and guess who’s wielding the turkey leg scepter? None other than the reigning queen herself, Martha Stewart!

For eons, Martha has been the undisputed ruler of Thanksgiving, dishing out tips and tricks like mashed potatoes on a family dinner table. But hold onto your cranberry sauce, because this year, Martha’s pulling a plot twist that rivals a Thanksgiving soap opera.

In a recent episode of The Kelly Clarkson Show, the 82-year-young Martha spilled the gravy on her scandalous holiday plans for 2023. Brace yourselves—she’s not hosting Thanksgiving! Gasp! Cue the collective gasps of turkeys and pumpkin pies everywhere.

With the casual nonchalance of someone tossing aside a burnt marshmallow, Martha dropped the bombshell on Kelly Clarkson. “Oh, I gave up Thanksgiving. I canceled,” she declared, revealing that a bunch of her guests bailed on the Thanksgiving extravaganza. It seems even Martha Stewart isn’t immune to the occasional no-show.

But fear not, kitchen disciples, for Martha has a plan more ingenious than using a gravy boat as a pool float. She rang up her trusty chef friend and declared, “We’re not doing Thanksgiving.” Take that, tradition! Martha’s breaking up with the turkey this year.

Why the sudden change of heart? Martha confessed she’s “turkeyed out.” Yes, even the queen of all things festive can reach her poultry limit. Who knew?

So, what’s on the menu for Martha’s rebellious Thanksgiving rebellion? Hold onto your basters—she’s going on a gastronomic adventure, hitting up “about five different homes to taste different courses.” Move over, Michelin Guide; Martha’s on the ultimate culinary crawl.

Kelly Clarkson, ever the comedian, quipped that Martha’s friends “must be so stressed out” to host the culinary maestro. And Martha, with a twinkle in her eye and a hint of mischief in her voice, replied, “Oh, I hope so.” You can almost hear the distant echoes of turkey timers ticking nervously.

Martha Stewart, the renegade ruler of Thanksgiving, has traded in her apron for a tasting spoon and is set to sprinkle her culinary wisdom across multiple households this year. Who needs a turkey when you can have Martha on a tasting tour? Thanksgiving will never be the same again, and we’re all just guests at Martha’s world of festive mayhem!

‘Percy Jackson and the Olympians’ Trailer on Disney+

November 17, 2023

Get ready to embark on a perilous quest filled with more monsters than your average family reunion and more divine drama than a soap opera at Mount Olympus—because Percy Jackson is hitting the small screen, and it’s about to get mythically hilarious!

Disney+ just unleashed the official trailer for the upcoming Percy Jackson and the Olympians TV series, and it’s more epic than a saga written by a caffeinated unicorn. Based on Rick Riordan’s book series, this adaptation promises to be so wild that even Zeus would trade in his lightning bolt for a front-row seat.

Picture this: Percy Jackson, the demigod extraordinaire, is on a mission more complicated than deciphering a Minotaur’s GPS. Running from monsters with more attitude than a Medusa with a bad hair day and outsmarting gods with egos bigger than Hera’s collection of peacock feathers, Percy must trek across America faster than Hermes on rollerblades. His mission? Return Zeus’ master bolt and prevent a celestial-sized brawl. No pressure, right?

After losing his mom (thanks a lot, mythical chaos), Percy finds refuge at Camp Half-Blood—a summer camp for demigod kids. Now, he’s not just trying to prove he’s the hero this world needs; he’s also confronting his demigod lineage faster than you can say “Cerberus.” Brace yourselves as Percy jets off into the great unknown, chasing enemies and mysteries in pursuit of the Underworld. It’s like a demigod’s version of a midlife crisis, but with more monsters and fewer sports cars.

Joining Percy on this epic odyssey are his trusty quest buddies, Annabeth and Grover. Annabeth is the brains of the operation, and Grover is… well, he’s the guy with the satyr-tastic sense of humor. Together, they’ll face challenges, riddles, and the occasional enraged deity—all while trying to answer life’s most pressing questions, like “Where do I belong?” and “Will I ever see my mom again?” Oh, and the classic “Who am I supposed to be?” because being a demigod is tough, but being a demigod with an identity crisis? That’s a Herculean feat.

Leading the charge in this mythical madness are young stars Walker Scobell as Percy, Leah Sava Jeffries as the brainy Annabeth, and Aryan Simhadri as Grover, the satyr with a flair for comedy. Get ready to meet the rest of the cast, because this show is bringing more talent than the Mount Olympus talent show.

Mark your calendars for the grand premiere on Wednesday, December 20th, on Disney+. It’s not just a TV show; it’s a demigod-approved rollercoaster of laughs, drama, and epic quests. So grab your popcorn, summon your inner satyr, and get ready for a journey that will have you saying, “Move over, Zeus, there’s a new god of entertainment in town!”

Pink Hands Out 2,000 Banned Books at Her Show in Florida

November 17, 2023

LeVar Burton, the voice smoother than a freshly buttered pancake, has been on a crusade against book bans with his partner in literary crime, PEN America. But hold your laughter, because now, in the middle of Pink’s Trustfall tour, she’s thrown her sparkly hat into the ring too! Yes, Pink, the pop sensation with a voice as powerful as a lion’s roar, has teamed up with PEN America to tackle the injustice of book bans. Move over, LeVar, there’s a new book warrior in town.

Fans at Pink’s Florida concerts were in for a treat, and no, it wasn’t just her mind-blowing performances. They snagged tote bags filled with banned books—2,000 of them in a week! That’s right, Pink is not just about hitting those high notes; she’s hitting back at censorship with a literary vengeance. Take that, book bans!

And why now, you ask? Well, according to PEN’s charts, Florida is leading the pack in book bans, leaving Texas in the dust like a forgotten ’90s boy band. #BeLikableRon2024 might want to rethink his strategy because Pink is making waves, and they’re not just the ones in her hair.

Pink, in an Instagram video that’s racked up more likes than the office cat meme, declared war on censorship. “It’s confusing, it’s infuriating, it is censorship,” she passionately proclaimed. Preach, Pink, preach! In a PEN statement, she added, “No more banned books,” because, really, who needs banned books when you can have a Pink-endorsed literary fiesta?

Florida, oh Florida, the land of sunshine, oranges, and apparently, banned books galore! According to PEN America’s research, Florida is the undisputed champion of book bans, with a whopping 1,406 cases. That’s more bans than a sitcom has reruns. Texas, you’re not even close with your measly 625 bans. Step up your game!

Ron DeSantis, the man with a knack for spin, claims it’s all a ‘book ban’ hoax. According to him, Florida is the “education state” (cue collective gasps). I nearly fell off my office wheelie chair reading that gem. Seriously, Ron, where do you come up with this stuff? Florida, where raccoons are public enemy number one and the great “brain drain” is in full swing. The only education happening there is in the school of absurdity.

Kudos to Pink for shining a spotlight on this literary crisis. She’s not just singing about raising a glass; she’s raising awareness. And let’s face it, cutting off access to knowledge is so last season. Check out PEN America’s Pink page for all the juicy details on banned books and how to hassle your elected officials to do something about it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to uncover the scandalous world of over-sexualized coding in “Girls Who Code.” The forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest!

David Guetta is Expecting a Baby With Girlfriend Jessica Ledon

November 17, 2023

Hold on to your DJ decks and turn up the baby lullabies, because David Guetta and his girlfriend, Jessica Ledon, are about to drop the hottest collaboration of the year – and it’s not a new beat, but a bouncing baby!

Decked out at the 2023 Latin Grammy Awards, the 56-year-old musical maestro and his leading lady strutted down the red carpet, unveiling a baby bump that’s bound to hit the charts in no time. Move over, Billboard, there’s a new bump in town!

With eyes sparkling like disco balls, the soon-to-be parents couldn’t contain their excitement about this impending bundle of joy. It’s like they’ve just discovered the ultimate drop, and it’s not a bass but a baby bump.

Taking to social media to share the baby beat, David Guetta spilled the news like a DJ dropping the sickest track. Captioning the Instagram post, he teased, “We have a big news for you,” humorously claiming it’s the “most important release of the year.” Move aside, Taylor Swift, there’s a new headline act in town!

As the announcement echoed through the virtual airwaves, celebrity pals like Bebe Rexha, Diplo, and Alex Pall of The Chainsmokers rushed to the comments section to join the virtual baby shower. Beats and baby onesies were undoubtedly exchanged.

While this will be David’s first venture into parenthood with Jessica, he’s no stranger to the dad game. With a son named Tim Elvis and a daughter named Angie from a previous mixtape with ex-wife Cathy Lobe, he’s practically a pro at this point. It’s like he’s dropping parenting remixes left and right.

So, here’s to David and Jessica, the dynamic duo about to embark on the wildest collaboration of their lives. May their parenting playlist be filled with laughter, sleep-filled nights (fingers crossed), and, of course, the occasional baby burp remix. Cheers to the newest addition to the Guetta crew – the real headliner of 2023!

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A post shared by David Guetta (@davidguetta)

Drew Barrymore Reveals Why She’s Never Had Plastic Surgery

November 17, 2023

Drew Barrymore spilled the beans on her aging game, and it’s a no-plastic-surgery party over here!

In a recent chit-chat, the 48-year-young actress and queen of daytime banter spilled the tea on why she hasn’t joined the Botox bandwagon. “I’m steering clear of the plastic fantastic, and I’m going to ride this aging rollercoaster as long as I can,” Drew spilled to People. “No judgment if you’re into that, but me? I’m saving my wrinkles for a rainy day.”

With a twinkle in her eye, she added, “I can’t wait to see myself as a genuine leather handbag in the future! Couture, darling!”

Drew, the wise sage that she is, also shared that the thought of going under the cosmetic knife gives her the heebie-jeebies. “I’ve got a personality that latches onto things like a clingy ex,” she confessed. “I’d probably end up in a never-ending loop of ‘fix this, tweak that.’ That’s scarier than a horror movie marathon!”

And while she’s not against a good hair makeover, Drew hilariously admitted, “I’ve colored my hair so much; I’m on a first-name basis with the entire Crayola box. I don’t even remember my original color. It’s like trying to recall your childhood imaginary friend’s name – a mystery!”

But hold your anti-aging creams; Drew has some wisdom to sprinkle on the fountain of youth dilemma. “Aging is like a badge of honor, a participation trophy for being alive and kickin’,” she philosophized. “I’m embracing it like a long-lost friend who owes me a coffee. Positive vibes, people!”

She continued, “Health is the real MVP here. When life gets crazy, you gotta prioritize. If you’ve got your health, you can conquer the world – or at least the wrinkle cream aisle. Let’s keep it real; that’s where the true battles are fought!” Drew, you glorious fountain of comedic wisdom, we salute you and your refusal to succumb to the allure of the everlasting youth quest!

European Commission Freezes All Ads on X

November 17, 2023

Elon Musk’s playground, X (formerly Twitter, but who’s keeping track?), just got hit with a knockout punch from the European Commission. Yep, the folks from the European Union have decided to pull the ad plug on the 52-year-old genius behind SpaceX and Tesla.

In a press conference that was probably way more entertaining than your average PowerPoint presentation, Johannes Bahrke, the European Commission’s spokesperson (and potential stand-up comedian), spilled the tea on why they’re ghosting X.

Apparently, they’ve noticed a wild surge in fake news and online nastiness across various social media platforms lately, and guess who’s the life of that party? You got it—X. Bahrke, with a twinkle in his eye (probably), spilled the beans, “We’ve seen X being quite the maestro of disinformation and hate speech lately.” Bravo, X, bravo.

But here’s the kicker: the European Commission won’t be pulling a full breakup. Oh no, they just want some space…X space. They’re swiping left on ads for now, explaining, “We’ve advised everyone to hold off on the whole ad thing for now, especially if there’s a chance your ad might end up in a sea of inappropriate content. We’ve got an image to maintain, you know?”

And before you start feeling bad for X, thinking it’s been left forlorn and adrift in the vast digital universe, fear not. X’s spokesperson rolled their eyes (we’re assuming) and assured everyone, “Oh, the European Commission spent a whopping $5,000 on ads this year. Big spender! But hey, they’ll keep sliding into X’s DMs with organic posts on @eu_social, @eu_partnerships, @euhomeaffairs, @euclimateaction, and @eib. Oh, and the European Investment Bank? They’re sticking around like a clingy ex—they’ll still be throwing money at X. So, no hard feelings, EU. We’ll just be over here tweeting in our Cybertrucks and launching rockets into space. You do you.”

The European Commission has decided to freeze ads on Elon Musk‘s X (formerly Twitter).

“We have seen an alarming increase in disinformation and hate speech on several social media platforms in recent weeks, and X is certainly quite effective of that." https://t.co/4x3qjjXSJD

— Variety (@Variety) November 17, 2023

Meghan Markle Says She and Prince Harry Are Creating New Traditions

November 17, 2023

Meghan Markle, the dazzling Hollywood sensation who graced the red carpet in Los Angeles, spilled the royal tea on her quirky holiday shenanigans with Prince Harry and their dynamic duo of kiddos.

The Duchess of Sass-esse, in her latest star-studded performance in the US, spilled the yuletide beans to E! News with a twinkle in her eye, saying, “We’re cooking up some fresh traditions now that the tiny humans are sprouting like holiday ornaments. And let me tell you, it’s a jolly good time!”

In a plot twist that even Hollywood wouldn’t have seen coming, the former actress, back in the limelight and shining brighter than a Christmas star, confessed, “I get a kick out of sprucing up and bedazzling the tree with my little troublemakers.”

This year, breaking from tradition faster than Santa on rollerblades, the duchess revealed her festive antics. During her cameo at the Invictus Games, she unleashed another rare gem about her royal brood.

In a moment that rivaled the Oscars in emotional impact (we’re pretty sure there were tears and everything), she threw a shout-out to her pint-sized partner-in-crime, four-year-old Archie, and the pint-sized princess, two-year-old Lilibet. With a gleam in her eye that matched the twinkle lights on a Christmas tree, she chirped, “Wishing you the absolute best time ever! We’re your biggest cheerleaders, and we’re counting down the days until we can drag our little rascals here to witness the greatness. Thanks a sleigh-full, you amazing people!”

Meghan Markle, proving once again that holiday traditions are even more fabulous when you’ve got a prince, two mini-mes, and a sprinkle of royal magic. Cue the jingle bells and roll out the red carpet for the most festive family affair in Tinseltown!

Cardi B Denies Rumor She’s Going on a Hiatus

November 17, 2023

Cardi B is not here for the naysayers claiming she’s throwing in the towel on her music career. Hold on to your wigs, because the saga continues!

The rap queen dropped her sizzling single ‘Bongos (ft. Megan Thee Stallion)’ over the summer, and it was hotter than a jalapeño in a sauna. She practically turned into the human embodiment of that fire emoji during the promotional blitz, and we were all living for it – well, except for those poor souls in Antarctica who probably missed the memo.

But, lo and behold, post-release, Cardi seemed to pull a Houdini on us. The spotlight was like, “Where’d she go?” and fans were left scratching their heads like confused cats. Things escalated when whispers of a Cardi hiatus started circulating faster than gossip at a tea party.

In a plot twist that had us all clutching our pearls, the rapper allegedly hinted at a musical siesta during a live chat. Cue the dramatic gasps and collective fan meltdown!

But fear not, dear Cardi enthusiasts, for the queen herself descended from her throne of mystique to set the record straight. Taking to the bird app (that’s Twitter for you non-millennials), she declared, “I never said I was taking a hiatus… I’m just continuing with my social media break like I have been for the last few weeks.. not sure why that’s causing such a ruckus. BG ya know where to catch me!”

BG, wherever you are, you better have your catching net ready because Cardi’s out here like a rare Pokémon – gotta catch her before she disappears again!

Cardi B is not bidding adieu to the music scene. She’s just taking a breather from the social media circus. Let’s cross our fingers, toes, and any other crossable body parts for more beats and, fingers crossed, that mythical album dropping faster than a cat meme goes viral. Stay tuned for the next episode of “Cardi Chronicles: The Unfiltered Life of the Rap Royalty!”

I never said I was taking a hiatus… I’m just continuing with my social media break like I have been for the last few weeks.. not sure why that’s causing such a ruckus. BG ya know where to catch me!

— Cardi B (@iamcardib) November 16, 2023

Mariah Carey Gets a Christmas-Themed Barbie Doll

November 17, 2023

Hold on to your jingle bells! ‘Tis the season, and you know what that means – it’s not just time for decking the halls; it’s officially Mariah Carey season! Move over, mistletoe, because Mimi is in the house, and she’s not just topping the charts; she’s now gracing your holiday wish list in the most iconic way possible.

Get ready to unwrap the fabulous news: Mariah Carey has achieved the ultimate holiday accolade – her very own official festive Barbie doll! Barbie is getting a dose of diva, and we’re here for it.

As Mariah’s classic anthem ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ skyrockets through the charts like Santa on turbo mode, our beloved Queen of Christmas is taking center stage with her miniature doppelgänger. Move over, Ken; it’s time for Mariah to shine!

In an exclusive statement fit for a Christmas queen, Carey spilled the gingerbread tea on this monumental honor, saying, “It’s a once-in-a-lifetime dream to have my own Barbie. If I could time-travel and whisper in my little girl self’s ear that, someday, there would be a Barbie rocking my likeness, she would probably do a Christmas tree somersault. Here’s to hoping collectors and fans worldwide enjoy the holiday season and find a special spot for the Mariah Barbie in their festive lineup.”

So, what are you waiting for? Sleigh your way to the Mattel store and snag your very own piece of Mariah magic! Don’t be fashionably late to this festive fiesta – these Mariah Carey Barbie dolls are flying off the shelves faster than Santa’s sleigh on Christmas Eve. Get ’em while they’re hot, and let the holiday hilarity ensue! 🎅🎄✨

Mariah Carey Gets a Christmas-Themed Barbie Doll

Nicki Minaj Announces Plans for ‘Pink Friday 2 Tour’

November 17, 2023

Hold on to your wigs, because Nicki Minaj is about to embark on the Pink Friday 2 Tour, and Barbz are losing their cool faster than you can say “super bass”! The excitement is so real that the tour website got hit harder than a beat drop at a dance party.

The 40-year-old rap queen of the “Barbie World” spilled the tea on the first batch of cities she’s gracing with her presence on the Pink Friday 2 Tour. And guess what? Barbz worldwide were so hyped that they practically broke the internet—again. Move over, Kim Kardashian!

Nicki, being the generous queen she is, shared some deets on snagging those golden tickets. Despite the website doing a disappearing act faster than a magician’s bunny, the Barbz made sure to spread the word like wildfire, making #PinkFriday2Tour trend everywhere, even in your grandma’s bingo night.

In her epic post on X (formerly Twitter), Nicki, in all her glory, urged fans to sign up for the tour, even if their city didn’t make the initial cut. “In fact, by signing up tmrw, you help to have your city added to the OFFICIAL routing if it’s not currently a city on our list,” she spilled. Imagine being the hero who brings Nicki to your town—move over, local politicians!

And hold your horses, because Nicki spilled the tea that only “approximate dates” have been revealed. You can’t buy tickets just yet, but signing up for “access to presale tickets” is the next best thing. It’s like getting VIP access to the hottest party in town, but better.

Nicki hinted that if the demand is wild enough, more dates and stops might just magically appear. It’s like a tour that grows on demand, the first of its kind! Sign up, and who knows, Nicki might just show up at your doorstep with a mic in hand. Can we get an encore?

So, while we wait for the official tour dates and hope our city makes the cut, one thing is for sure—Pink Friday 2 is dropping on December 8, and it’s gonna be the hottest thing since microwaved pizza rolls.

Here’s a sneak peek at the cities where Nicki Minaj will be unleashing her fierceness during the Pink Friday 2 Tour:

Atlanta, Georgia
Austin, Texas
Boston, Massachusetts
Brooklyn, New York
Charlotte, North Carolina
Chicago, Illinois
Columbus, Ohio
Dallas, Texas
Denver, Colorado
Detroit, Michigan
Hartford, Connecticut
Houston, Texas
Las Vegas, Nevada
Los Angeles, California
Miami, Florida
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Phoenix, Arizona
Portland, Oregon
Raleigh, North Carolina
Salt Lake City, Utah
Seattle, Washington
Toronto, Ontario
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Montreal, Canada
Nashville, Tennessee
Newark, New Jersey
New Orleans, Louisiana
New York, New York
Oakland, California
Vancouver, Canada
Washington DC
Amsterdam, Netherlands
Berlin, Germany
Birmingham, United Kingdom
London, United Kingdom
Manchester, United Kingdom
Paris, France

Get ready to laugh, dance, and slay because Nicki Minaj is coming to a city near you!

#PinkFriday2Tour https://t.co/gAqTChIyDE pic.twitter.com/S2Kht8thuU

— Nicki Minaj (@NICKIMINAJ) November 17, 2023

Harry Styles’ Mom Slams Critics of His New Buzzcut

November 17, 2023

Guess what? Harry Styles’ mom has thrown on her superhero cape, and she’s on a mission to rescue her son’s buzzcut from the haters!

So, our dear Harry, the “As It Was” maestro, decided to unleash his brand-spankin’-new buzzcut on the world in a Vogue photoshoot. The internet promptly exploded, and not in a good way. Fans were divided like a pizza at a sleepover—some loved it, others, not so much.

But fear not, because Anne Twist, the momma bear herself, charged into the Instagram battleground to defend her son’s follicular choices. Picture this: Anne, armed with a keyboard and a fierce protective spirit, declares, “Listen up, world! My boy, Harry, has a legacy of spreading love and good vibes. He’s like a unicorn in a world full of grumpy cats. And what do you do when people criticize his new haircut? You scratch your head, just like me, because seriously, what’s the fuss?”

In a brilliantly sarcastic move, she points out the absurdity of the situation. “I mean, come on, people! This is the guy who preaches ‘Treat People With Kindness,’ and here you are, giving him grief for a simple haircut. It’s like scolding a kitten for being too cute. Doesn’t make sense, does it?!”

To drive her point home, Anne leaves us with a gem of wisdom: “Breaking news, world! It’s just hair! It’s Harry’s hair, and guess what? It’s not a one-time thing. Hair grows back, like grass after winter or the comeback of bell-bottoms. If Harry wants a Rapunzel moment, he’ll have it!”

Let’s all take a moment to appreciate the humor in this hairy situation. After all, if Harry Styles can’t experiment with his hairstyle, what’s the point of living in a world that desperately needs more fabulous hair moments? 🦄💇‍♂️ #TPWK (Treat People With Kindness, y’all!)

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A post shared by Anne Twist (@annetwist)

Barbie Ferreira Reveals New Levi’s Capsule Collaboration

November 17, 2023

Barbie Ferreira, the queen of “Nope,” has just teamed up with Levi’s for a fashion escapade that’s about to make your wardrobe go from “meh” to “oh my gosh, where did you get that fabulous thing?”

At the ripe age of 26 (we say ripe because, well, fashion is fruit, right?), Barbie decided it was time to sprinkle her creative fairy dust all over our lives. The Nope actress put on her fashion wizard hat and conjured up a clothing collection that’s basically a love letter to beautiful scenes and the art of telling stories through your everyday wardrobe.

Barbie didn’t embark on this fashion journey alone; she brought along a bunch of her pals to turn her wild fashion dreams into reality. Because let’s be honest, fashion is more fun when you have your buddies along for the ride. Who needs a solitary fashion adventure anyway?

And who better to capture the magic than Petra Collins, Barbie’s partner in crime for over a decade? Yes, you read that right—10 whole years of creative hijinks. We’re talking about a friendship that started when Barbie was just a sweet 16-year-old. They’ve got a language, a secret creative handshake, or whatever you want to call it. Shooting with Petra is like a piece of cake, a really fashionable cake.

Now, let’s talk logos. Barbie didn’t settle for a run-of-the-mill logo. No, no. She went for a bunny demon, because why not? This demon bunny wasn’t conjured from some fashion realm; it was drawn by Barbie’s BFF, Ben Evans. Apparently, he’s a master of bunny demon artistry. And get this—it all started as a stick-and-poke tattoo at Barbie’s house. Fashion inspiration can be weirdly tattooed, who knew?

Barbie spilled the beans, saying, “My dream is to always include my friends who I creatively align with.” So, basically, the collection is like a fabulous, glittery friendship quilt stitched together by Levi’s, Barbie, and her squad. Intimate, special, personal—just like sharing a secret handshake.

And now, the pièce de résistance—the collection itself. Brace yourself for lace-up corsets, long dress coats (because regular-length coats are so last season), second skin tops (we don’t know what that means, but it sounds cool), ’90s 501® jeans with demon bunnies, oversized bunny tees (because who doesn’t love a giant bunny on their shirt?), and a reversible tulip hat. Yes, a hat that’s reversible. Two hats in one. Mind blown.

In a press release, Barbie spilled the fashion tea, saying, “This collection was inspired by my love for beautiful scenes and creating a story with my everyday wardrobe.” Dark fairytale meets nostalgic dream—take our money, Barbie!

If your wardrobe is crying out for a touch of Barbie magic, mark your calendars for November 17. The Levi’s x Barbie Ferreira collection will be hitting the virtual shelves of Levi.com, the Levi’s® App, select Levi’s® stores, urbanoutfitters.com, and select Urban Outfitters stores. Prepare your closet for the fashion invasion, because Barbie is coming, and she’s bringing her demon bunnies with her! 🐰✨

Barbie Ferreira Reveals New Levi’s Capsule Collaboration

Drake’s ‘Red Button’ Lyrics Reveal He Delayed Album Because of Taylor Swift

November 17, 2023

Drake just unleashed his latest masterpiece, Scary Hours 3, and in one of the tracks, titled “Red Button,” he’s throwing some serious shade at none other than Taylor Swift. Champagne Papi himself is spilling the tea on Tay-Tay.

After taking a playful jab at Taylor’s album Midnights from last year (because, you know, who needs subtlety?), Drake is now confessing that Taylor is the puppet master pulling his album release strings. Move over, record labels – it turns out Taylor Swift is the real album date whisperer.

And what does Drake drop on this mind-blowing new track?

“Taylor Swift, the only person I’ve ever rated,
The one who can make me delay my album, yeah, belated.”

Hold your horses! Drake is giving Taylor the ultimate shoutout, admitting that she’s got the power to make him procrastinate like a master. Sorry, other artists – according to Drake, you’re just background noise.

He goes on to say, “The rest of y’all, I treat you like you never made it,
Leave your label devastated,
Even when you pad the stats, period, I never hated.”

Oh snap! Drake is leaving no room for interpretation – he’s giving a reality check to everyone else in the game. Your stats might be padded, but Drake ain’t hatin’, he’s just statin’ the facts.

Drake’s Scary Hours 3 isn’t just an album; it’s a comedy roast, with Taylor Swift as the guest of honor. Move over, stand-up comedians – Drake might just be the new king of musical comedy.

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