Breaking News: David Schwimmer Discovers Clouds in the Afterlife; Matthew Perry Unimpressed
In a shocking turn of events, David Schwimmer, the man who brought Ross Geller to life, is now mourning the loss of his fellow Friends star, Matthew Perry. In a heartfelt yet slightly absurd note to “Matty,” Schwimmer poured out his emotions in a way only he could.
“Thank you for ten years of hilarity and creativity. Your comic timing was so spot-on that it could probably set its own watch. You took straight lines and twisted them like a pretzel, creating something so original and unexpectedly funny that even the cosmos must have chuckled,” Schwimmer said, as if the cosmos had a sense of humor.
He went on to reminisce about Perry’s generous heart, claiming he shared it with the Friends cast so they could create a family out of six strangers. Because nothing says family like sharing internal organs, right?
To accompany his emotional outpour, Schwimmer included a photo from a Friends episode, explaining, “This is from one of my favorite moments with you. Now it makes me simultaneously smile and grieve. I picture you up there, probably in the same white suit, hands in your pockets, looking around and asking, ‘Could there BE any more clouds?’ Classic Chandler move, even in the afterlife.”
Our deepest condolences go out to the Friends cast and Matthew’s loved ones. May the afterlife be filled with laugh tracks and endless reruns of Friends for our dear departed Chandler Bing.