European Commission Freezes All Ads on X

Elon Musk’s playground, X (formerly Twitter, but who’s keeping track?), just got hit with a knockout punch from the European Commission. Yep, the folks from the European Union have decided to pull the ad plug on the 52-year-old genius behind SpaceX and Tesla.

In a press conference that was probably way more entertaining than your average PowerPoint presentation, Johannes Bahrke, the European Commission’s spokesperson (and potential stand-up comedian), spilled the tea on why they’re ghosting X.

Apparently, they’ve noticed a wild surge in fake news and online nastiness across various social media platforms lately, and guess who’s the life of that party? You got it—X. Bahrke, with a twinkle in his eye (probably), spilled the beans, “We’ve seen X being quite the maestro of disinformation and hate speech lately.” Bravo, X, bravo.

But here’s the kicker: the European Commission won’t be pulling a full breakup. Oh no, they just want some space…X space. They’re swiping left on ads for now, explaining, “We’ve advised everyone to hold off on the whole ad thing for now, especially if there’s a chance your ad might end up in a sea of inappropriate content. We’ve got an image to maintain, you know?”

And before you start feeling bad for X, thinking it’s been left forlorn and adrift in the vast digital universe, fear not. X’s spokesperson rolled their eyes (we’re assuming) and assured everyone, “Oh, the European Commission spent a whopping $5,000 on ads this year. Big spender! But hey, they’ll keep sliding into X’s DMs with organic posts on @eu_social, @eu_partnerships, @euhomeaffairs, @euclimateaction, and @eib. Oh, and the European Investment Bank? They’re sticking around like a clingy ex—they’ll still be throwing money at X. So, no hard feelings, EU. We’ll just be over here tweeting in our Cybertrucks and launching rockets into space. You do you.”

See also  Noelle Cheney, TikTok Influencer, Apologizes to Subway Worker for Ridiculing Sandwich


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here