Sharon Osbourne Slams Marijuana, Says It Makes You “A Blob”

Sharon Osbourne spilled the beans on her absolute least favorite substance during the latest giggle-fest on The Osbournes podcast.

“Marijuana, it’s like the ultimate couch potato maker. You turn into this blob, sit there all day, lose every ounce of motivation to do anything, and, let’s face it, it totally sucks,” quipped the 71-year-old, sharing her wisdom with hubby Ozzy Osbourne and their son Jack.

Ozzy, in his infinite rock ‘n’ roll wisdom, declared, “I’d rather have folks puffing the magic dragon than sucking on the cancer sticks. Legalize it everywhere, man! And, I gotta say, it’s like a gateway drug, you know?”

According to the Prince of Darkness, “Tobacco is like the clingy ex that just won’t let go. Seriously, the most addictive thing I ever welcomed into my body without a second thought.”

Jack, ever the voice of reason (or maybe just the voice of Osbourne sanity), chimed in, “Sure, let’s make weed legal, but let’s also get real about what it does. It’s not some miracle cure-all; it’s more like your funky but unpredictable friend.”

The Osbourne offspring spilled the tea, “It zaps your mojo. For the last two decades, everyone’s been all ‘legalize it for medical and recreational use,’ treating it like the superhero of drugs. But, reality check, it’s not a one-size-fits-all magic potion.”

“It’s like, yeah, it can work wonders if your body’s into it, but it can also throw a wild party of chaos for some,” Jack sagely opined.

Ozzy, in a moment of sober reflection (yes, you read that right), dropped some truth bombs, “Lying here, pondering my existence, and I realized all my drinking buddies are six feet under. I should’ve been on the express train to the afterlife ages ago. Why am I the last man standing? Sometimes I stare at my reflection and think, ‘I’ve dodged the reaper a thousand times, man!'”

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