Donald Trump Declared “Safe” After Gunshots Are Fired Near Him At His Golf Course In Florida

In what can only be described as a scene straight out of an action-comedy movie, former President Donald Trump had an eventful day on the golf course when things got a bit… loud. While most golfers worry about sand traps and water hazards, Trump had to deal with a far more unique hazard: gunfire.

Reports say that on Sunday (September 15) in West Palm Beach, Florida, Trump’s leisurely round of golf was rudely interrupted by shots ringing out nearby. But fear not! Our protagonist was swiftly whisked away like a VIP at a rock concert. In an official, no-nonsense statement, campaign spokesperson Steven Cheung announced, “President Trump is safe following gunshots in his vicinity. No further details at this time.” Translation: “Yeah, we don’t really know what just happened either, but we’re good.”

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Meanwhile, back at the clubhouse (or perhaps a nearby shrub), law enforcement was all over it like detectives in a TV crime drama. They were questioning someone and inspecting some suspicious bushes near the course. We can only assume the bushes are pleading the fifth at this point.

Now, imagine Trump standing between the fifth and sixth holes, probably about to sink a birdie (or at least thinking about it), when suddenly the peaceful sound of golf balls hitting the grass was rudely interrupted by something much louder and significantly less fun: gunfire. Three senior law enforcement officials confirmed that they were checking the situation, but the Secret Service was quick to jump in with their own version of events: “No worries! The former president is safe!” Cue dramatic action music.

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But wait! This story gets better. Fox News’ Sean Hannity, never one to miss out on a good scoop, swooped in to chat with Trump and his golfing buddy, Steven Witkoff. According to them, Secret Service was not messing around. They apparently returned fire like they were part of an elite action movie squad. And, just to add some flair to the tale, an AK-47 was allegedly found at the scene. You can almost picture the Secret Service agents tossing golf carts aside like they’re in a high-speed chase, hunting down a suspect who probably didn’t expect his Sunday to go this way.

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Even Vice President Kamala Harris chimed in, stating that she’s glad Trump is safe and reminding everyone that violence, much like pineapple on pizza, “has no place in America.” Wise words, indeed.

What was supposed to be just another day on the green turned into a dramatic, albeit slightly bizarre, incident. While Trump was busy perfecting his golf swing, local law enforcement was detaining someone who, according to CNN sources, might have been planning to crash the golf party in a very unwelcome way. Stay tuned, because even the bushes might have more to say about this one!

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