Selena Gomez Explains Social Media Absence in Light of World Events

Selena Gomez, the 31-year-old dynamo of music and acting, has finally broken her social media silence, and boy, does she have some explaining to do! It turns out she’s been MIA on the interwebs because, well, she doesn’t think her tweets and Instagram posts have the superpower to fix the world. Color us shocked!

In an epic comeback that can only be likened to a superhero’s return from a hiatus, Selena told her fans, “I’ve been taking a little siesta from the social media circus because, let’s be real, the world out there is like a rollercoaster of horror, hate, and violence. It’s like a never-ending thriller movie, but the popcorn is nowhere in sight. People are suffering, and it’s not a fun show. We’ve got to protect everyone, especially the kiddos, and put an end to this violence for good. But, I’m just an ordinary human, and sorry to break it to you, my words are not the next Avengers. I can’t snap my fingers and save the day with a hashtag. If only, right?”

Now, some of her devoted fans, bless their hearts, are a tad miffed because they remember Selena using her voice for various causes in the past. It’s like they’re saying, “Selena, you’ve had your superhero moments before, so why the sudden humility now?” But hey, even superheroes need a break from time to time, and apparently, she’s been catching up on Netflix instead of world-saving.

In the end, Selena’s message is clear: she wants to be the world’s savior but is convinced her social media posts are about as effective as using a toothpick to stop a tidal wave. So, she’s just going to sit back, relax, and maybe binge-watch some more shows until her cape gets out of the dry cleaner.