In today’s edition of “Celebrity Splits That Make Us Say, ‘Wait, Who’s That Again?'” Mark Estes, the 24-year-old TikTok sensation and member of the renowned Montana Boyz (we’re still figuring out what that means), has finally spoken about his breakup with Kristin Cavallari, the 37-year-old jewelry designer, former reality star, and veteran of the “I Dated an Athlete” league.
In case you missed the memo, last week Kristin spilled the breakup beans on her Let’s Be Honest podcast, and now Mark has sent out his rep to sprinkle a little PR pixie dust on the situation.
Here’s the official statement from Camp Mark:
“Mark has immense love and respect for Kristin and their time together.” (Awww, he’s really rolling out the sentimental carpet here.) “He’s now focused on his business and a project in development with Vice Studios.”
Translation: “I loved her, but now I’m onto bigger things—like TikTok dances and mysterious ‘projects’ with Vice. You know, adulting.”
Meanwhile, Kristin, on her podcast, channeled her inner wise philosopher, breaking down their split with a monologue that could rival a Shakespearean soliloquy:
Kristin Cavallari, dropping some wisdom:
“I broke up with Mark because, well, I just knew it wasn’t going to last. No dramatic cheating, no villainous behavior. Just a calm, rational, ‘This isn’t it, chief.’” (She actually said none of this, but I’m paraphrasing her deep emotional journey.)
And she didn’t stop there. Oh no, she gave us the full rundown:
“It was a happy relationship, like a rom-com where no one flips the table or throws spaghetti. But it’s harder when no one’s an actual bad guy, you know? Sometimes you just need a juicy scandal to spice things up, and, well, we had none.”
Kristin reminisced, saying, “I’ll always look back at our time together with sparkly, happy thoughts. My kids liked him, which is a solid endorsement—because kids? They don’t lie.”
But here’s the kicker: Kristin isn’t just ending things like a normal human. Nope, she’s predicting the future.
“One day,” she declared like a time-traveling oracle, “Mark will look back and say, ‘Wow, she did me a favor.’ He’ll probably send me a ‘thank you’ card or an edible arrangement.”
She also made it clear she has no regrets. Zero. Zilch. “I don’t regret introducing him to my kids. I don’t regret anything, really,” she concluded, possibly while sipping tea, basking in her wisdom.
So, what have we learned?
1. Mark’s heart is broken, but he’s masking it with “business projects.”
2. Kristin is out here predicting that one day, Mark will say, “Thanks for the life lesson, boss.”
3. Breakups are apparently more meaningful when there’s no cheating or furniture-throwing involved.
Stay tuned for the next episode of Let’s Be Honest, where Kristin might just start giving out relationship advice and edible arrangements for all!
