Turns out, John Stamos wasn’t just the heartthrob we all drooled over in Full House—he’s also the guy who got kicked out of Scientology for being too annoying. Yep, you read that right. The 61-year-old actor recently spilled the beans on the Friends in High Places podcast about how he was almost, but not quite, recruited by Scientology, all thanks to a “hot girl.” Spoiler alert: It did not go well.
So, here’s how it all went down. Picture it: a young, starry-eyed John Stamos, still in his pre-Uncle Jesse days, sweating it out in acting class. Enter stage left: a hot girl. (Because obviously, this is how all stories of bad decisions begin.) This girl casually invites him to “this address on Hollywood Boulevard.” No biggie, right? Just a casual Hollywood hangout. Except—plot twist—it’s the Scientology building. Surprise, surprise!
“I was working at my dad’s restaurant, and I told him, ‘Dad, I gotta go. There’s a girl. On Hollywood Boulevard. It’s not suspicious at all,’” John recounted. And thus, our hero embarks on a journey that can only be described as… something you’d see in a sitcom he would later star in.
John strolls into the Scientology meeting, probably thinking he’s about to discover the meaning of life or, at the very least, impress the hot girl. What he did discover, however, was that he had a natural talent for pissing off Scientologists. The real clincher? He got his hands on an E-Meter, a gadget the church uses to, you know, measure your soul’s level of distress or something equally as vague.
Instead of taking it seriously, John decides to channel his inner comedian. “I was doing a Peabody and the Way Back Machine impression,” he revealed. (Because if you’re gonna irritate a room full of serious spiritual seekers, you might as well bring out the obscure cartoon references, right?)
Apparently, the Scientologists did not appreciate his audition for America’s Funniest Church Rejects. They were not amused by his shenanigans and promptly told him to, in Stamos’ words, “Get out, get going!”—which, if you ask me, sounds like the world’s least convincing cult rejection letter.
The podcast host chimed in, saying, “So you were too annoying for Scientology?” To which Stamos, laughing, responded, “Yeah, I must’ve been pretty bad.” Imagine being so relentlessly goofy that even a notoriously secretive and powerful organization is like, “You know what? We’re good. We don’t need this energy here.”
Moral of the story? Scientology might be mysterious, but they draw the line at John Stamos messing with their sacred instruments. And let’s be honest, getting kicked out of Scientology might just be one of John’s greatest accomplishments.
At least he’s got a killer podcast story. And really, isn’t that what life’s all about?
