It looks like Jay Johnston—yep, the voice behind Jimmy Pesto from Bob’s Burgers—is about to embark on the ultimate “time-out.” On Monday, October 28th, the 56-year-old actor was handed a one-year-and-one-day sentence in federal prison. His crime? A starring role in the January 6th, 2021 Capitol Insurrection. Move over, Hollywood—it’s time for Law & Order: Bad Choices Unit.
Johnston was nabbed earlier and hit with a smorgasbord of charges, including felony obstruction and a couple of bonus misdemeanors for good measure. If this were Bob’s Burgers, Jimmy Pesto would’ve probably just bribed the Capitol guards with mozzarella sticks, but sadly, Jay went the “let’s get arrested” route.
In July, Johnston admitted he wasn’t just at the party—he was a VIP guest in the chaos, even giving the Capitol police a hard time. Not exactly a proud career pivot. Prosecutors weren’t amused and pushed for 18 months in the slammer, noting that Johnston wasn’t exactly “remorseful.” I mean, dressing up as Jacob Chansley—the “QAnon Shaman”—for Halloween in 2022? Talk about commitment to a bit.
But wait! Johnston’s legal dream team swooped in, claiming the government was blowing this out of proportion just because he’s a Hollywood actor. Apparently, insurrectionist stardom doesn’t boost one’s IMDb profile. Who knew? They added that Johnston’s acting gigs had dried up faster than the ketchup bottles at Jimmy Pesto’s. Welcome to Hollywood: where even bad publicity can’t get you hired.
When it was time to face the music, Johnston made a heartfelt speech, calling his actions “reprehensible.” (Bold move for a guy whose character’s biggest offense was serving subpar pizza.) Along with prison time, the judge threw in 40 hours of community service because, hey, why not sprinkle a little good karma on top of this trainwreck? And to add insult to injury, Johnston will need to fork over $2,000 to the Architect of the Capitol. At least it’s not coming out of Jimmy Pesto’s tip jar.
So, what have we learned here? Maybe, just maybe, rioting isn’t the best way to spend a Wednesday afternoon. And if you’re an actor, let’s stick to scripts—not sedition. Enjoy the prison pizza, Jay.