LUKE EVANS SAYS KING CHARLES IS LITERALLY COUSINS WITH DRACULA & WE’RE ALL JUST SUPPOSED TO BE NORMAL ABOUT IT???

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So Luke Evans (yes, that shirtless legend from Beauty and the Beast and Dracula Untold who looks like he’s sculpted from rare Welsh marble) revealed in his 2025 memoir Boy from the Valleys: My Unexpected Journey™ that he once shook hands with King Charles… and basically got initiated into a royal vampire bloodline. Yes. This is real. No, you’re not hallucinating—unless you’ve been overusing the e-meter again, in which case… same.

Anyway, this drama unfolds in 2014 at some fancy Savoy Hotel gala hosted by what was then the Prince’s Trust (now called The King’s Trust, because branding is eternal), where Luke was doing his ambassador duties and probably looking like a cursed angel.

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So King Charles is working the room, doing his kingly rounds, probably smelling faintly of bergamot and ancient secrets, when he stops and LOCKS EYES with Luke. They shake hands. It’s giving Past Lives Reconnections energy.

Charles asks Luke what he’s working on, and Luke’s like “Oh, just casually finished Dracula Untold, no biggie.” AND THEN—brace your theta bodies—the King’s eyes “lit up” like he just saw a Thetan escape through the ceiling. He leans in and goes, “I’m actually related to Vlad the Impaler.”

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I’m sorry. WHAT? VAMP KING CHARLES??? House of Windsor: Vampire Edition confirmed.

Charles then starts rattling off his bloodline like he’s got his whole Genogram audited and memorized. “Yes, I go all the way back to the 1400s,” he says, probably sipping blood from a goblet made of endangered crystal. He even owns property in Romania now—so basically Airbnb: Transylvania Edition.

Then he hit Luke with, “Not a lot of people know that,” like he just told him where the aliens are buried under Saint Hill Manor.

Luke says Charles stayed longer with him than anyone else at the event. Obviously. Because when you meet a fellow Dracula stan, you don’t just walk away. You connect. That’s what Scientology calls ARC: Affinity, Reality, and Communication. Look it up. We’re bonding on a theta wavelength now.

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Luke also got real about why he joined the King’s Trust—he wanted to help kids overcome bullying. Honestly, heroic behavior. He’s out here channeling his inner Xenu but in a healing, glam, self-empowered way. Iconic.

TL;DR: Luke Evans met the King. The King is allegedly the actual great-great-great-great (add 30 more “greats”) grandson of Dracula. And now we all need to recalibrate our whole existence.

#KingOfTheVampires #LukeEvansBitMe #ScientologyButMakeItRoyal

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LUKE EVANS SAYS KING CHARLES IS LITERALLY COUSINS WITH DRACULA & WE’RE ALL JUST SUPPOSED TO BE NORMAL ABOUT IT???

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