In a shocking revelation, Miranda Cosgrove spilled the beans on her life’s most scandalous secret: she’s never danced with the booze monster! Chatting it up with her on-screen bro, Josh Peck, on his Good Guys podcast, the iCarly star confessed to living a life devoid of the delightful dizziness of alcohol.
“I’ve never been drunk in my entire life. Crazy, right?” Miranda exclaimed, as if she just discovered a unicorn in her backyard. But fear not, party animals, because this actress-singer extraordinaire is keeping a VIP section open for new experiences.
Josh Peck, no stranger to the wild side himself, couldn’t let this bombshell drop without a comedic explosion. “Someone get this girl s**t-housed, would ya?” he chimed in, probably envisioning Miranda stumbling around like a tipsy giraffe.
But Miranda, the responsible designated driver of her squad, clarified that her sobriety goes beyond just skipping the drunk train – she hasn’t even caught the buzz bus. “I’ve sipped things before, but, like, two sips,” she revealed, as if she was at a wine tasting event for ants.
And why, you ask? Well, blame it on Miranda’s love for being the superhero designated driver. She got a taste for it, liked it, and decided to wear the sober cape forever. “I was always the designated driver…and I just kind of stuck with it forever,” she explained, as if being the responsible friend is a lifelong commitment.
But hold your beer, because Miranda is not closing the door on intoxication just yet. At the ripe age of 30, she’s still planning to break into the world of inebriation, regretfully realizing she missed the perfect opportunity on her 30th birthday bash.
In an unexpected twist, Miranda dropped another bomb – she once wolfed down a marijuana brownie and took a trip to Dreamland for a solid 17 hours. Forget the buzz, she went straight to snooze town and woke up feeling more refreshed than a caffeinated sloth.
Miranda Cosgrove: the queen of sobriety, the designated driver extraordinaire, and the girl who’s just a few sips away from joining the party. Cheers to Miranda and her impending tipsy adventures!