Angelina Jolie’s Physical Appearance Worries Many

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Angelina Jolie’s friends and family are scratching their heads as the actress seems to be vanishing into thin air—literally.

The 49-year-old superstar made her latest appearance last month at the Tony Awards, where she floated onto the red carpet in a strapless teal dress, looking like a delicate, fashionable ghost.

Insiders spilled the beans to Radar Online, expressing their growing concern that Jolie might soon be mistaken for a paper cutout. “She can’t keep this up!” they worried, possibly clutching their pearls.

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Her pals are practically begging her to chow down on something—anything!—since juggling six kids and a Hollywood career requires more than just air and good intentions.

“She’s so skinny, she looks like she could blow away in a stiff breeze,” said one source. “It’s like she’s forgotten what food is, or she’s just not interested. We’re worried she might start floating away.”

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Meanwhile, Florida’s very own Dr. Gabe Mirkin, who has never met Angelina but is very good at playing doctor from afar, chimed in. He took one look at her through the magic of the internet and declared she might have “skeletal woes.”

“She needs to see a doctor stat,” he said. “A bone density test will probably show osteoporosis, and then she’ll need meds and some good old-fashioned weightlifting. Maybe she can bench press her Oscar collection.”

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Here’s hoping Angelina’s friends manage to lure her into a buffet soon. The world can’t afford to lose another star to the perilous forces of the wind.

Angelina Jolie’s Physical Appearance Worries Many

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