Looks like Xzibit is DONE being listed as “married” on government paperwork — the rapper has officially filed to legally hit the single streets again! 🚗💨
This week in Los Angeles (Divorce Capital of Celebrities), Xzibit asked the court to bifurcate his divorce — which is just a fancy word that means, “Yo, can I PLEASE be single while we argue about who gets what?” Basically, he wants to be able to put “single” on his dating apps without lying, even if the spousal drama isn’t fully untangled yet.
Apparently, X and his soon-to-be ex, Krista Joiner, have been living separate lives for over FOUR YEARS now. That’s like, two Kardashians ago. And while the trial to sort out the messy stuff is allegedly coming up next month, Xzibit’s not trying to wait another second to declare, “I’m back, baby!” 🕺
Xzibit’s legal team says they’ve been ghosted by Krista and her lawyers — like, texting “you up?” and getting left on read since early this month. Awkward.
Meanwhile, Krista has her own wishlist. She recently asked the court to bless her with an extra $30K per month (yes, THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS A MONTH) to “return to the luxury lifestyle she was accustomed to.” Apparently, she and their son had to downgrade from a four-bedroom, four-bath house that cost $10K a month. AND (this part deserves dramatic music 🎻) they couldn’t even buy designer clothes anymore. Somewhere, a Gucci purse just shed a single tear.
We’ve tried to get a comment from both Xzibit and Krista about this fresh batch of legal drama… but so far, it’s been crickets. 🦗
Stay tuned — at this rate, the next filing might involve who gets custody of the last bottle of Cristal. 🍾
