Trump Says Late Night TV Hosts Are ” So Bad,” Wants The Late Johnny Carson Back

Buy Me A Coffee

Donald Trump is back at it again, and this time his target? Late night TV hosts. Yes, the former Commander-in-Chief, at a mere 78 years young, has turned his sights on those fellas who crack jokes after 11 p.m. In what can only be described as a campaign rally/TV critic symposium in Pennsylvania, Trump took the stage to declare that late night television is on life support, and guess whoโ€™s pulling the plug? Jimmy Fallon, Stephen Colbert, and Jimmy Kimmel, of course!

โ€œTheyโ€™re all dying!โ€ Trump proclaimed, as if heโ€™s a TV network executive in a turtleneck and a beret. โ€œThese three guys are so bad,โ€ he added, pausing to let the shade sink in.

See also  Melania Trump Reveals Whether Her Husband Donald Trump Knew She Was Pro-Choice

Now, in case you thought Jimmy Fallon had dodged the Trump Train of Trolls, think again. โ€œHeโ€™s not very funny,โ€ Trump quipped, and somewhere in Hollywood, Fallon probably dropped his cue cards in a pile of tears and confetti. But wait, it gets better.

โ€œThese three guys are getting blown away by Gutfeld,โ€ Trump added, referring to Greg Gutfeld of Fox Newsโ€”a late-night host with the energy of a caffeinated ferret. “Blown away!” he repeated, probably imagining an actual cartoon-like wind gust lifting Fallon, Colbert, and Kimmel into the stratosphere. It’s clear Trumpโ€™s love for late-night TV froze somewhere around 1980, which brings us to his next lament: Whereโ€™s Johnny Carson?

Yes, you read that right. Trump demanded the return of Johnny Carsonโ€”the legend who hosted The Tonight Show for three decades. Carson, by the way, has been deceased since 2005, but Trump isn’t going to let a little thing like “death” get in the way of a nostalgic throwback. “Bring back Johnny!” he cried, as if Carsonโ€™s just been hanging out backstage all these years, waiting for his cue. Apparently, Johnny’s ghost would do a better job than โ€œthese three guysโ€ who are, again, “so bad.” Poor Carson didnโ€™t even see this ghostwriting gig coming.

See also  First Look Clip Of Sebastian Stan As Donald Trump In 'The Apprentice' Unveiled

And hereโ€™s where it gets, um, relatable? โ€œI donโ€™t like anybody that doesnโ€™t like me,โ€ Trump admitted with the self-awareness of a toddler who’s just been told they canโ€™t have a cookie before dinner. โ€œIโ€™ll be honest, when they donโ€™t like me, I donโ€™t like them. Okay?โ€ In a moment of supreme reflection, he called this behavior a โ€œpersonality defect.โ€ Wow, youโ€™ve gotta hand it to him for such deep introspection. Next thing you know, weโ€™ll get a Trump self-help book: How to Not Like People Who Donโ€™t Like You, and Why Thatโ€™s Totally Fine.

Late-night TV, you’ve officially been roasted… again.

See also  Sydney Sweeney Reveals How Angus Cloud's Death Has Affected the Cast of 'Euphoria'

Comments area

Sidebar

Must Read

Chad Michael Murray Opens Up About Cheating With Sophia Bush

Guess what? Chad Michael Murray has finally spilled the...

Cardi B Shuts Down Rumors That She’s Skin Bleaching Amidst Pregnancy

Things got real spicy in Cardi Bโ€™s corner of...

Angelina Jolie’s Physical Appearance Worries Many

Angelina Jolieโ€™s friends and family are scratching their heads...

Seth Meyers Is Getting A New Standup Comedy Special On HBO

Hold onto your funny bones because Seth Meyers is...

Jeremy Allen White Spotted In-Character As Bruce Springsteen Filming ‘Deliver Me From Nowhere’ Movie

Jeremy Allen Whiteโ€”yes, Lip from Shamelessโ€”is about to slip...

Zendaya And Tom Holland Are Discussing Marriage

Hold onto your webs! Weโ€™ve got some spidey-tastic news...

You Might Also Like

Adele Publicly Slams Member Of Her Audience Who Screamed “Pride Sucks!”

Adele isnโ€™t here for your nonsense. During her Saturday night...

Demi Lovato is Engaged to Jordan ‘Jutes’ Lutes

Demi Lovato and Jordan โ€œJutesโ€ Lutes just turned the...

‘Demure’ Trend Star Jools Lebron Reveals How TikTok Has Changed Her Life

You've probably caught wind of the "demure" trend floating...

Alfonso Ribeiro Injured Himself While Filming A Dance Special At Disney World

It turns out that America's Funniest Home Videos host...

Quinta Brunson’s Stylist Responds to Emmy’s Look Criticism

The fashion police are on high alert, and this...

The Final Trailer For ‘Venom: The Last Dance’ Starring Tom Hardy Has Been Released

Tom Hardy has officially gone rogueโ€”heโ€™s turned a horse...

Why Joy Behar is No Longer on ‘The View’

Joy Behar pulled a disappearing act on The View,...

Charli XCX Discusses The ‘Brat’ Album Cover And How It Came About

Letโ€™s dive into Charli XCXโ€™s album cover revelation, which...

Victoria Monet Says Taking Her Daughter Hazel to The Grammys Was “A Disaster”

Victoria Monet has officially declared a red carpet embargo...