Picture this: Tom Cruise, armed with nothing but charisma and an over-the-top love for dangerous stunts, crashes (figuratively, of course) the 2024 Paris Olympics Closing Ceremony. And by “crashes,” I mean he leaps from the roof of Stade du France like a superhuman action figure, because walking through a door like the rest of us would just be too tame.
Tom’s mission? To wave the Olympic flag and declare to the world, “Next stop, LA baby!” But obviously, he couldn’t just accept the flag with a polite handshake and a quick jog. Nope, Tom had to Tom-Cruise it up.
First, after literally jumping off the roof (because, why not?), he struts over to Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass and Simone Biles, who’s probably thinking, “Even I don’t flip off buildings like that.” They hand him the official Olympic flag, and then Tom, doing his best “this is casual for me” face, hops on a motorcycle and zips off to the Eiffel Tower. Because apparently, in Tom’s world, motorcycles are faster than any Parisian Uber.
But wait, there’s more! In a pre-recorded stunt (because no one lets Tom rest), he’s seen skydiving into Los Angeles—near the Hollywood sign, obviously, because why miss an opportunity to remind people where the magic happens? It’s Hollywood or bust!
Casey Wasserman, head of the LA28 team, thought, “What could go wrong? Let’s just put Tom Cruise in charge of a 15-minute live show,” because when you need someone to bring the spectacle, you hire the guy who once hung off the side of a plane for fun.
In a shocking twist, Wasserman reveals that Tom did this entirely for free. Zero dollars. Zilch. Not even a free snack at the Eiffel Tower. You’d think after all that, they’d at least throw in a croissant. Wasserman added, “He literally finished filming Mission: Impossible at 6 p.m. in London, hopped on a plane faster than a text message, landed in LA at 4 a.m., and then skydived into the scene because apparently, sleep is for mere mortals.”
He also mentioned that Tom wasn’t happy with the first jump out of the plane. So, what does the man do? Another jump, of course! And after all that, he casually helicopters to the Hollywood sign, films for four hours, flies back to London like it’s just another Tuesday, and probably arrived back on set looking fresh, while the rest of us mere mortals would be face-planting in bed.
If you thought Mission: Impossible stunts were wild, welcome to the Tom Cruise Olympics, where gravity and common sense are just suggestions.
