Toronto Night Four of Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour will go down in history as the night she revived all the Joe Jonas drama—like a phoenix rising from the ashes of 2008’s breakup phone call. Yes, Taylor, the queen of turning heartache into hits, mashed up her iconic Joe breakup anthems “Mr. Perfectly Fine” and “Better Than Revenge” at the Rogers Centre, leaving fans equal parts emotional and absolutely feral.
Let’s set the scene: Taylor, now a poised 34-year-old music mogul, is wrapping up the final leg of her record-shattering tour. But instead of riding off into the glitter-drenched sunset quietly, she said, “Let’s spice things up with a little Jonas tea.” Cue the acoustic guitar, some heartfelt strumming, and millions of fans screaming, “NOT THE JOE SONGS!”
The Songs That Stirred the Swiftie Pot
First up, “Mr. Perfectly Fine,” a track so sharp it could slice through Joe Jonas’ razor-sharp cheekbones. Swifties know this gem from Fearless (Taylor’s Version), where it was unearthed like a perfectly preserved fossil of teenage heartbreak. Pair that with “Better Than Revenge” from Speak Now, aka Taylor’s “I’m not a girl, not yet a woman, but definitely a savage” album, and you’ve got the ultimate revenge medley.
Let’s just say, this mash-up hit harder than Joe’s infamous 27-second breakup phone call. Yes, 27 seconds. Back in the ancient times of flip phones (2008, to be exact), Taylor revealed on The Ellen Show that Joe dumped her via a phone call so short it would’ve been free on most data plans. She later joked, “I checked the call log—27 seconds! That’s gotta be a record.”
Twitter, as expected, collectively lost its mind.
– “Taylor singing Joe breakup songs while Joe is single again? The villain origin story writes itself.”
– “Not Taylor playing the breakup medley while Sophie Turner is probably at home babysitting Joe’s emotions.”
– “Joe Jonas can’t even blink in 27 seconds, but he somehow ended a relationship?!”
Joe Jonas: From Boyfriend to…Plot Twist?
In case you missed the memo, Joe married Taylor’s pal Sophie Turner and even had a couple of adorable kids before their 2023 split. And because Taylor is in her philanthropic, wine-mom era, she stepped in to provide Sophie and the kids with a place to crash during the breakup saga. Who had “Taylor Swift becomes the ultimate BFF by offering her ex’s ex a mansion” on their 2023 bingo card? No one.
A Final Encore of Chaos
Taylor performing these songs isn’t just a musical flex; it’s a masterclass in the art of living rent-free in everyone’s minds. While she’s out here performing her life story, Joe is probably somewhere Googling “How to shrink into the floor in 27 seconds.” Meanwhile, Swifties are lighting up social media with theories, memes, and enough snark to power the internet for days.
If you weren’t at Toronto Night Four, you missed Taylor casually torching a chapter of her past with a smile, a sparkly guitar, and the kind of energy that says, “This is why I’m the CEO of heartbreak.”
She just flipped off Joe Jonas from Toronto lol
— look at how my tweets ricochet (@SammyVengenz) November 22, 2024