Joe Alwyn, a.k.a. the 33-year-old Kind of Kindness actor (because he’s so nice he’s kind twice), is finally talking about his breakup with the 34-year-old queen of heartbreak ballads, Taylor Swift. Yes, after more than six years of canoodling and crooning, they called it quits in April 2023. Grab your popcorn, because this is a tale of romance, reflection, and a whole lot of feelings.
In a sit-down with The Sunday Times, Joe reminisced about his roller-coaster relationship with Taylor, which he described as “long, loving,” and “fully committed.” Not sure if he was describing their relationship or a yoga retreat, but let’s roll with it.
When asked if he had tuned into Taylor’s latest album, “The Tortured Poets Department” (an album title only Taylor could pull off), Joe took a deep breath and said, “In thinking on what I was going to say, I would think and hope that anyone and everyone can empathize…” In other words, he took the scenic route to avoid answering the question directly. Classic Joe.
He elaborated, “I would hope that anyone and everyone can empathize and understand the difficulties that come with the end of a long, loving, fully committed relationship of over six and a half years.” Translation: Breaking up is hard to do, especially when your ex writes chart-topping songs about it.
Navigating this breakup was harder than assembling IKEA furniture without instructions. Joe mused, “What is unusual and abnormal in this situation is that, one week later, it’s suddenly in the public domain and the outside world is able to weigh in.” Because nothing says “personal crisis” like reading about your breakup while buying milk.
Joe described the experience as tossing something real into the “unreal space” of tabloids and social media. It’s like trying to have a serious conversation while clowns juggle flaming torches in the background. He noted, “there is always going to be a gap between what is known and what is said. I have made my peace with that.” In other words, he’s Zen about the circus.
Despite the drama, Joe insists that he and Taylor mutually decided to keep their relationship details on the down-low. “It was never something to commodify and I see no reason to change that now,” he said. Which is a fancy way of saying, “No, you can’t have our breakup details for your next dinner party gossip.”
As for Joe’s current status, he’s doing “really good,” basking in the glory of being in a “great place” both professionally and personally. No word on whether he’s dating or still exchanging playlists with Taylor, though. Joe played it coy, saying, “I’m sure you can appreciate, given the level of noise and scrutiny about my past relationship, why I wouldn’t want to just open the door to things like that right now.”
Joe Alwyn: the man, the myth, the master of saying a lot while saying very little. Stay tuned for Taylor’s next album, which will probably explain everything in 16 catchy tracks.
