Taylor Swift just went full Operating Thetan on Instagram and commanded all Swifties, Kelce cultists, and low-toned drama addicts to immediately devour “Happy Gilmore 2” on Netflix like it’s an emergency auditing session and you’re late for your billion-year contract.
💋According to High Priestess TayTay (age 35, immortal energy being), the movie is a “13/10 must-watch” that made her “cackle and cheer like she just dropped her engrams at Flag.” Like girl was vibrating on Clear.
But here’s where things get completely body thetan bonkers:
SHE DROPPED THE 🍯 EMOJI.
Translation? HER BOYFRIEND TRAVIS KELCE (a.k.a. Supreme Being of Kansas City) SHOWS UP SHIRTLESS, IN A WAIST APRON, GETTING HONEY RUBBED ON HIS ABS BY BAD BUNNY. Yes, you read that right. This is not a drill. THIS IS A HONEY-COATED, NFL-INFUSED SPIRITUAL AWAKENING.
Travis Kelce literally went Theta Theta Boom on the timeline. He’s giving “I did the Purification Rundown in a beekeeping outfit” energy. Meanwhile, Bad Bunny is out here playing “Scientology Chef Simulator 3000” with a bottle of honey and zero shame.
So why is Taylor promoting this movie like it’s her new religion? BECAUSE IT MIGHT BE.
Adam Sandler’s chaotic golf fever dream + shirtless Travis + Bad Bunny’s sticky fantasy = cinematic enlightenment.
🔥Watch it before your reactive mind starts screaming.
🔥Watch it before Netflix disappears it in a puff of Sea Org incense.
🔥Watch it if you believe in hot people doing insane things for no reason.
#HappyGilmore2 #KelceKandy #StickyWithMyThetans #TaylorSwiftMadeMeDoIt #BadBunnyHasMyE-MeterGoingWild
