BREAKING: JENNIFER “I-DO-EVERYTHING” LOPEZ is swinging onto your screen like a glitter-covered tarantula in “Kiss of the Spider Woman”—and this ain’t your grandma’s musical (unless your grandma was a Broadway baddie with a flair for DRAMA and sequins).
The trailer just dropped harder than JLo’s skincare routine on your credit card, and it is serving broadway-meets-prison-fantasy-realness. Directed by Bill Condon (a.k.a. the man who gave us Chicago and Dreamgirls and therefore has never missed), this film is based on the 1976 novel by Manuel Puig, which became a Tony-winning musical because, duh, gays and glitter always win.
✨THE PLOT:
So, imagine this:
- Diego Luna (yes, that Diego from your dreams) is Valentín, a political prisoner with cheekbones that could cut glass.
- He’s locked in a cell with Tonatiuh (who’s not just a star—he’s a whole supernova), playing Molina, a window dresser in jail for some… public fabulousness.
- While they vibe out in prison, Molina escapes the doom and gloom by obsessively recounting scenes from a fictional old-Hollywood musical starring his diva queen supreme, Ingrid Luna, who is—SURPRISE—played by Jennifer Lopez in full sparkling spider drag.
🕷️YES, SHE SINGS. YES, SHE SERVES. YES, SHE SLAYS.
JLo steps into the role of Spider Woman with a voice that could melt steel and cheekbones that could stop traffic. She’s giving Old Hollywood glamour, Broadway belting, and dangerous arachnid energy, all while wrapped in enough fabric to reupholster the Louvre.
And if that’s not enough, let me throw some red sequins in your face:
The film is hitting theaters October 10, which means you have until then to emotionally prepare your soul and book your tickets before the Swifties figure out JLo sings in this and sell it out in 5 minutes.
🎥 Produced by someone mysterious (but very much in JLo’s phone contacts)
You’ll have to dig to find out who exactly’s behind the curtain with her, but let’s just say—if Jennifer’s involved, the receipts are spicy and the checks are cleared.
So go ahead, press play on that trailer and let your jaw dislocate itself.
Broadway. Prison. Spider Woman. JLo. Say less.
🕷️💋💃 Kiss of the Spider Woman — Coming for your wigs, your tears, and your entire Halloween costume inspiration.
👉 Trailer below, babes. Try not to faint.
