Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Banter, is positively ecstatic as she teeters on the brink of striking a deal that’s juicier than a dragon fruit at a smoothie convention! It’s like the universe’s way of saying, “Hey Meghan, don’t worry, there’s life after Spotify!”
The 42-year-old royal rumble is reportedly this close to signing a mega-million-dollar contract with Amazon’s podcast partner, Audible. Closer UK, who clearly has a sixth sense for juicy gossip, spilled the beans, and we’re devouring them like popcorn at a royal movie night.
According to an unnamed source (who we can only assume wears a Sherlock Holmes hat), this new venture could either make Meghan’s Hollywood dreams soar higher than a SpaceX rocket or leave her with more broken dreams than a karaoke night gone horribly wrong.
“Word on the street is that this deal is set to be a real cash extravaganza, even more so than Spotify’s splurge,” whispered the insider. “And Meghan can’t contain her excitement at the thought of hanging with the cool kids, Michelle and Barack Obama, who hitched their wagon to Audible’s star in 2022.”
The mysterious source continued, “Meghan may seem like she’s strutting with the confidence of a catwalk model, but the truth is, she’s been feeling as lost as a sock in a dryer since the Spotify debacle. This Audible deal could be her life’s GPS, or maybe just a nifty compass.”
And what about her sleep patterns, you ask? Well, it appears the pressure is turning her into the Duchess of Insomnia. But she knows that if this deal goes through, her life will be one big Hollywood rollercoaster – buckle up, Meghan, it’s a wild ride!
The source wrapped up with a dire warning, saying, “Hollywood bigwigs are side-eyeing Meghan and Harry after the Spotify mishap, and they’re worried that if lightning strikes twice, it could be curtains for their brand. Imagine trying to sell content when your audience thinks you’re about as reliable as a chocolate teapot. The stakes are higher than Harry’s hairline.”
Audible however, the supposed knight in shining armor, says the whole story is as fictional as a unicorn on roller skates. They’re basically telling us it’s all smoke and mirrors, and they haven’t been talking turkey with Meghan. We smell a royal roast!
Naturally, Page Six couldn’t resist joining the royal soirée and reached out to Meghan’s entourage for their side of the story. The royal reps are probably busy rehearsing their response, so don’t hold your breath just yet.
Now, Meghan’s latest gig as WME’s BFF (Best Fame Forever) with CEO Ari Emanuel’s dream team might have you wondering, “What’s next for this dynamic duchess?” Well, we can only guess, but rumors are swirling faster than a tornado in a wind tunnel that she might just grace the screen again. Watch out, Hollywood; Meghan’s comeback might just be more epic than a Marvel superhero!
WME, which represents the who’s who of showbiz, from writers to fashion designers, is like Meghan’s personal genie in a bottle, ready to grant her every wish. If she wanted to make a movie about the life of a sassy, globe-trotting duchess, they’d make it happen!
Stay tuned as Meghan Markle continues her rollercoaster ride through the whimsical world of fame and fortune. Who knows what’s in store for the Duchess of Hilarity next?