Buckle up for Martha Stewart, Part Documentary—Part War Zone. She’s here to dish out piping hot critiques about her new Netflix documentary, titled Martha, and she’s sparing no one. Directed by R.J. Cutler, the documentary hit the streaming platform on October 30, and while it was meant to be a grand ode to Martha’s life, it seems like the goddess of the domestic arts has a different review in mind. Picture this: she “hate[d]” some parts of the movie. Yes, those are her words, not mine.
Let’s dive into this film review, Stewart-style.
“Act One? Great. Act Two? Dumpster Fire.”
Martha sat down with The New York Times, probably with a cup of artisanal chamomile tea in hand, and confessed that she “love[d]” the first half of the documentary. It had young women messaging her like, “Martha, you’re a boss!” She was thrilled. “It shows a strong woman standing up for herself, surviving horror, thriving in success,” Martha explained. But before you think she’s here to toot her own horn, she added, “Look, this film isn’t about me bragging about ‘inner strength’ or any of that baloney. It’s about just getting through life without losing yourself.”
And that’s when things took a turn. R.J., you may want to take notes because Martha was not happy about the parts he botched. She went off on a few choice details, like the lack of her own archive footage. R.J. apparently had free-range access to all things Martha Stewart, and he…didn’t use it. Instead, he settled for the audacity of some random “classical” soundtrack. And if you know anything about Martha, she wanted rap. Yep, Martha said, “Give me Dre, give me Snoop, give me that ‘drop it like it’s hot’ energy.” Instead, R.J. went full “chamber orchestra.”
“Let’s Talk Angles, Shall We?”
If you thought her critique stopped there, think again. She also slammed R.J. for using “unflattering” camera angles. Apparently, in this cinematic masterpiece about the Queen of Lifestyle, the camera spent a little too much time dwelling on her infamous legal run-in. She was like, “Hello? My 83-year life isn’t about one tiny little thing that happened ages ago. For crying out loud, I consider that stint a ‘vacation.’” Imagine Martha sitting by the prison commissary, treating it like a summer in the Hamptons.
The Grand Finale—Or Not
And as for the ending? Martha Stewart hated it. The final scenes depict her as “a lonely old lady hunched over in the garden,” something she was not vibing with. She clarified that she was hunched over due to a busted Achilles tendon, but R.J. refused to cut it. Seems like Martha wanted to end the movie on a high note, not a shuffle through the begonias.
R.J.’s Mic-Drop Moment
R.J., bless his heart, responded to Martha’s scorching critique. He’s proud of the film, and he praised her for trusting him with her life story, adding, “It’s a movie, not a Wikipedia page.” He wanted to capture the “complicated, visionary, brilliant” Martha Stewart, even if that included a classical score, less rap, and a garden scene that seemed straight out of The Golden Girls.
Martha the movie may not be up to Martha’s standards, but it’s 100% pure Martha to speak her mind. And who knows? Maybe the next documentary will include Dr. Dre.
