Buckle up for the rollercoaster of Kristen Stewart’s clapback to the haters of her Rolling Stone cover, featuring a hand plunging into her jockstrap like it’s the last piece of candy in the universe.
In a recent Late Show with Stephen Colbert episode, Kristen, the 33-year-old master of cool, was asked about the “oh-so-scandalous” cover while she was supposed to be talking about her movie, Love Lies Bleeding. Classic diversion, right?
Colbert, being the mischievous host he is, teased the audience about showing the cover, but alas, CBS, in all its prudish glory, vetoed that idea faster than you can say “jockstrap.” But fear not, for Kristen and Colbert were here to deliver the goods in a verbal sense.
With Colbert gushing about how Kristen looked better in a jockstrap than he ever could (that’s a mental image we’ll never unsee), Kristen took the reins and dived into the pool of absurdity headfirst.
She swam through the sea of double standards, pointing out how male pubic hair and hands in pants seem to grace magazine covers with as much frequency as your morning coffee. But, oh no, when it’s a woman daring to assert her sexuality, suddenly it’s all “homophobic” and “sexist.”
Colbert, ever the voice of reason (or sarcasm, who knows?), chimed in about how he’s seen more skin on a Rolling Stone cover than at a nudist beach. Kristen, not one to back down, doubled down on her assertion that female sexuality isn’t just a passive object of desire but a force to be reckoned with. Take that, societal norms!
Kristen Stewart, the queen of calling out the absurdity, one jockstrap at a time. Let’s raise a toast to her unwavering sass and killer comebacks. Cheers!
