John Stamos Drank a Bottle of Wine at Home After 2015 DUI

In a hilarious turn of events, John Stamos is taking us on a wild ride down memory lane, recalling the tumultuous moments that pushed him into the arms of sobriety.

In an exclusive interview that’s more entertaining than a circus on roller skates, the 60-year-old Full House veteran spilled the beans on his epic DUI adventure back in 2015. Apparently, after his not-so-graceful exit from the hospital, John thought, “What’s the best way to erase the memory of my DUI? Oh, I know! A bottle of wine.” Classic move, John, classic move.

In a plot twist worthy of a blockbuster comedy, he confessed, “I never sobered up. Nope, not even for a second.” Because, let’s face it, dealing with reality is overrated when you can drown your sorrows in fermented grape goodness.

Now, brace yourselves for the international escapade that followed. John, in his infinite wisdom, had to jet off to Canada to film My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2. But oh no, he didn’t confront the mess he created – that’s far too rational. Instead, he kept the party going to dodge the inconvenient truth. “When you sober up, you face the ugly truth, so you keep drinking,” he sagely explained. Genius strategy, John, pure genius.

In a sidesplitting revelation on Mayim Bialik’s podcast Bialik Breakdown, John spilled the beans that he doesn’t remember a thing about filming My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2. Why? Because he was so “liquored up” that his memories took an extended vacation.

John hit rock bottom but didn’t quite get the memo. Instead, he numbed himself for a few weeks, probably thinking, “What better way to handle life’s mess than to pretend it’s not happening?” Smooth move, John, real smooth.

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Then, in a plot twist that rivals the best Hollywood scripts, his sisters stepped in like superheroes, declaring, “Enough is enough! We found this place, and you’re going, buddy.” And just like that, our hero reluctantly agreed, saying, “Okay, I’m ready.” Cue the triumphant music.

Fast forward to July 2015, and John, with all the enthusiasm of a kid at Disneyland, entered a 30-day substance abuse program. Why? Because he hated the guy he’d become. “I really hated the way I felt, hated disappointing people, hated myself,” he confessed. Picture John staring at himself in the mirror, muttering, “This is not who my parents raised. Who is this idiot?” A true moment of self-reflection.

In a heartfelt admission, John acknowledged, “I had everything growing up. I had a beautiful childhood. I had no excuse to mess my life up. And I did, and it made me sick.” Well, John, we’re just glad you kicked the bottle and embraced the sober superhero within. Here’s to a sequel with a much happier ending!

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