America’s favorite Kennedy chaos gremlin, Jack Schlossberg, is back at it—this time with a fake baby announcement that’s got the internet doing a double take and possibly checking their calendars for April Fool’s Day (it wasn’t).
In a post that screams “I may have too much time and Photoshop on my hands,” the 32-year-old grandson of JFK boldly announced:
“I’m having a son!! So excited about this.”
Now, before you grab your pearls and faint onto a nearby chaise lounge, yes—he’s talking about having a child with Usha Vance, aka the actual, real-life wife of J.D. Vance, aka Senator, aka conservative internet’s moody golden retriever. Jack continued his fever dream post with:
“Cannot wait for the birth of my next child because today was the best day of my life. Out of wedlock, yes. But we might get married.”
Sir. What.
To really hammer home the delusion, he posted a picture of his own face awkwardly Photoshopped onto a proud-dad moment featuring Usha Vance holding a baby.
“Little Jason and his mom — You never feel like you’re ready to be a parent. Until one day, you become one.”
The internet: Sir, this is a Wendy’s.
If you’re thinking, “Wait, is he okay?”—great question. Jack has previously admitted that his social media presence is…well, a bit feral.
Speaking to Jen Psaki on The Blueprint, he said:
“I think the internet is a place where it’s difficult to break through, especially if you’re not saying something controversial… or, you know, announcing a fake baby with a senator’s wife.”
He went on to say that Democrats don’t play the internet game as well as Republicans, and he’s just out here trying to flip people out for attention. Mission accomplished, Jack. You made us laugh, cry, and whisper “what the hell” to our phones.
So is Jack really becoming a dad with Usha Vance? Absolutely not.
Is he becoming the internet’s favorite agent of elite political chaos? Oh, 1000%.
Jack Schlossberg, never stop being unhinged. The timeline needs you.
I’m having a son !! So excited about this.
Cannot wait for the birth of my next child because today was the best day of my life.
Out of wedlock , yes. But we might get married.
— Jack Schlossberg (@JBKSchlossberg) April 6, 2025
