Adele just hit the brakes on her Vegas extravaganza, but fear not, it’s not because she’s bailing to join a circus or pursue a career in llama grooming. Nope, it’s just your typical tale of a superstar battling the common cold… or maybe it’s the uncommon cold; we can’t be sure.
In a move that shocked precisely no one who’s ever had a stuffy nose, the 35-year-old songbird hopped on Instagram to spill the tea on her health woes. “Sadly I have to take a beat and pause my Vegas residency,” she announced, probably while clutching a box of tissues and sipping chicken soup.
Adele, the queen of vocal prowess, confessed she’s been on the struggle bus since the last leg of her tour, powering through like a champ until her voice decided to stage a protest. “I hadn’t quite gotten the chance to get back to full health before shows resumed and now I’m sick again,” she lamented. And thus, the plot thickens, or rather, congeals into a sticky mess of phlegm and regret.
And just when you thought the drama was over, Adele dropped the bombshell: she’s postponing not one, not two, but ten whole shows! It’s like a game of musical chairs, but instead of scrambling for a seat, everyone’s just coughing and sneezing uncontrollably.
So mark your calendars, because those dates you were so eagerly anticipating are now about as reliable as a politician’s promises. But fear not, for Adele assures us she’s working tirelessly to reschedule, presumably between naps and doses of over-the-counter medication.
Adele signed off with a heartfelt apology, professing her undying love for her fans and promising to return stronger, sassier, and with fewer germs. And thus, the saga of Adele vs. the Sniffles continues. Stay tuned for the next thrilling installment, coming soon to a tissue box near you.