Harry Styles Just Ran the Tokyo Marathon—And His Time Will Make You Rethink Your Life Choices

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Harry Styles, international heartthrob and former One Directioner turned solo superstar, just did something truly shocking—he willingly ran 26.2 miles. Yes, you read that correctly. The man who could easily be lounging on a yacht eating grapes was instead out in the streets of Tokyo, sweating like the rest of us mortals.

On Sunday (March 2), Harry laced up his sneakers and hit the pavement alongside 37,000 other runners, proving that his cardio game is just as strong as his vocal cords. And get this—he didn’t just participate; he absolutely crushed it.

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The Stats That Will Make You Feel Incredibly Out of Shape
Running under his full government-issued name, “Harry Edward Styles” (which somehow makes him sound even fancier), our curly-haired hero rocked bib number 39162 and crossed the finish line with a mind-blowing time of 3 hours, 24 minutes, and 7 seconds. That means he was averaging 7 minutes and 47 seconds per mile—which is just rude to those of us who start wheezing after jogging for a single block.

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To put it into perspective:
– Harry finished in 6,010th place out of 37,000 runners, meaning he outran 31,000 people who now have to live with that shame.
– He ran for over three hours straight, while the rest of us struggle to survive a three-minute plank.
– The fastest runner, Ethiopia’s Tadese Takele, finished in 2 hours, 3 minutes, and 23 seconds, meaning Harry wasn’t that far behind a professional athlete. Which is honestly terrifying.

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What Does This Mean for Humanity?

This shocking achievement raises some important questions:
1. When did Harry Styles become a superhero?
2. Does this mean his next album will just be running-themed songs? (“Watermelon Run,” perhaps?)
3. If Harry can do this, should we all be signing up for marathons? (No. The answer is no.)

Harry Styles didn’t just run the Tokyo Marathon—he stylishly dominated it. And somewhere out there, a former P.E. teacher who doubted him is shedding a single tear of pride.

Harry Styles Just Ran the Tokyo Marathon—And His Time Will Make You Rethink Your Life Choices

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