Ex-pop sensation Kris Wu’s attempt at a “not guilty” comeback has officially been rejected, sealing his fate like a tightly wrapped burrito.
The grand finale of this legal soap opera unfolded on a Friday, courtesy of the Beijing No. 3 Intermediate People’s Court, which, let’s be honest, probably had more drama than a reality TV show.
Picture this: The courtroom, a stage for justice where the not-so-charming ex-boy band member, Kris Wu, hears the fatal words, “Guilty as charged! Kris Wu violated the will of women and, like a magician at a questionable party, took advantage of the drunkenness of multiple victims for some not-so-magical sleight of hand. His behavior? Well, it turns out it wasn’t just bad dance moves; it constituted the crime of rape.”
The court, with a straight face (we assume), pointed out that Wu had not just hit the wrong note but had gathered a whole crowd for a lewd carnival. Yep, you read that right – a lewd carnival. He played the role of the ringleader, and surprise, surprise, it confirmed the original ruling on the charge of group licentiousness. Ringmaster of the year, anyone?
In a legal circus unlike any other, Wu, the ex-heartthrob, found himself detained in July 2021 after an eighteen-year-old Chinese student accused him of inducing her into a not-so-melodious symphony of regret. Several other girls, including minors, also joined the symphony as unwitting performers.
This case, shining like a disco ball of severity, showcases a rare instance where karma dealt a heavy hand for a serious crime. A commentator, sipping on a cup of “I told you so,” remarked, “If he was let out, I have not a single shred of doubt that he would repeat. Being kept away from women and young girls is what needed to happen.” The saga of Kris Wu, pop star turned courtroom jester, has reached its comedic climax. The only encore he’s getting is a one-way ticket to legal obscurity.
