Eva Longoria, eternal fountain of wisdom and sass, recently spilled the tea on the alleged catfights among the dazzling divas of Desperate Housewives. The 48-year-old mischief-maker graced the Armchair Expert podcast with Dax Shepard, where she dished out the deets on the juicy rumors that once swirled around her and her co-stars.
As the conversation unfolded like a soap opera plot twist, Eva chuckled her way through tales of battling the monstrous beast known as sexism in the entertainment realm. “Back in the day, it was all about the ladies, you know? There were shows with dudes, and no one was screaming, ‘Oh, they’re throwing punches backstage!’” Eva reminisced, her eyes rolling faster than a tumbleweed in a Western.
In a moment of pure comedic gold, Eva recounted her desperate attempts to make sense of the fabricated feud frenzy with her fellow leading ladies—Teri Hatcher, Felicity Huffman, and Marcia Cross. “I’m there, waving my hands like a traffic cop, going, ‘Guys, they’re saying we’re having a royal rumble!’ And they’re all calm, sipping their tea, like, ‘Oh, that’s just the narrative they spin because we’re fabulous women over 40 in a TV show,’” she narrated, complete with an eye roll that could power a wind turbine.
And then, in true Eva fashion, she unleashed her bewilderment on the unsuspecting masses. “People still ask me, ‘Were you guys really at each other’s throats?’ And I’m like, ‘Oh my dears, I completely forgot that was even a thing!’ But trust me, it was a thing. A big, dramatic thing!”
Proving that laughter is the best revenge, Eva recalled the glorious moment when Saturday Night Live decided to roast the living daylight out of the absurdity. “I knew it was serious business when SNL started parodying us. I mean, if you haven’t made it until you’re spoofed on SNL, are you even a Hollywood heavyweight?” she quipped, sipping her imaginary tea like the true queen of nonchalance.
To add an extra layer of hilarity, Eva spilled the beans on how these rumors were like elusive ghosts that rarely haunted the set. “Half the time, we didn’t even know what the rumor mill was cooking up. We were too busy being fabulous on screen and sipping our metaphorical margaritas,” she chuckled, leaving us to imagine the Desperate Housewives set as a blissful utopia, far removed from the chaos concocted by gossipmongers.
Eva Longoria, the unapologetic debunker of drama, serving up laughter and shutting down rumors like a boss. Can we get a round of applause for the real MVP of the Desperate Housewives saga? Eva, take a bow, because you’ve just turned catfights into catnip for comedy.