Donald Trump’s Doctor Reveals Details About His Ear Injury After Rally Shooting

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Picture this: Dr. Ronny Jackson, the man who once had the honor of being Trump’s White House physician, is now playing the part of ear mechanic after a wild weekend rally that went a bit too far into the Wild West.

So, the scene goes like this: Dr. Jackson, armed with his medical kit and a sprinkle of disbelief, is asked to explain the aftermath of what can only be described as an ear-splitting event. (Pun absolutely intended.)

“Did Trump lose any part of his ear?” someone blurts out, probably while trying to stifle a laugh. Dr. Jackson, ever the professional, tries to keep a straight face.

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“Well, let’s just say the bullet had a bit of an identity crisis. It was far enough away from Trump’s noggin that it didn’t cause a sonic boom or anything, but it decided to give his ear a little trim. Just the top bit, like a bad haircut,” he says, eyes twinkling with the absurdity of it all.

And here’s where it gets juicy—literally. “It was bleeding like a horror movie,” Jackson continues, “because, fun fact, ears are basically blood fountains. Who knew, right?”

“So there I was, playing nursemaid to the ex-commander-in-chief, bandaging him up like it’s Casualty. It’s not like a neat little paper cut; oh no, this was a jagged mess. Like, ‘I got into a fight with a cheese grater’ kind of mess. And every time you even look at it wrong, it’s like, ‘Surprise! More blood!'”

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But don’t worry, the doc reassures us with a wink. “We’ve got it all dressed up now, like a mummy’s ear. And guess what? It’s gonna heal, and he’ll be back to his regular, ear-full self in no time.”

So, there you have it. A little ear-ducation for everyone, courtesy of Dr. Jackson. Tune in next time for more tales from the medical front lines, where even the most presidential of patients can have a bad ear day.

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