In the latest episode of the never-ending reality show that is American politics, Donald Trump, the 78-year-old ex-President and forever enthusiastic Truth Social user, declared he’s done debating Kamala Harris – forever!
After famously sparring with President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris in debates so intense they could have doubled as UFC match-ups (minus the actual punches), Trump took to his favorite platform to make a dramatic proclamation: “There will be NO third debate!”
You heard it, America. The man who never turns down a camera is now saying “thanks, but no thanks” to another debate. Why, you ask? Well, Trump channeled his inner Rocky Balboa and explained it in a way only he can: “When a prizefighter loses a fight, the first thing he says is, ‘I WANT A REMATCH.’” But apparently, Trump is not that kind of prizefighter, unless polls (the imaginary kind, mind you) show he’s already won.
He continued, because of course, he did: “Polls CLEARLY show I won the Debate against Comrade Kamala Harris, the Democrats’ Radical Left Candidate!” (Insert dramatic pause for effect.) According to Trump, after that victorious smackdown, Kamala Harris practically sprinted out of the debate hall, phone in hand, shouting, “Second debate, please!” But alas, Trump has spoken. The debate door is officially closed.
Now, which polls are these that Trump keeps referring to? Are they from the Kingdom of Make-Believe? Because on this planet, CNN polls had 63% of voters saying Harris gave him a good ol’ fashioned whoopin’, and YouGov showed her a comfy 23 points ahead. But hey, in Trump’s world, polls are like unicorns – magical, elusive, and subject to interpretation.
For those keeping track, no one had even agreed to another debate before this dramatic shutdown. But earlier this year, back when Trump was still locked in a staring contest with Biden, he was singing a different tune. Back then, it was all about “For the good of the country!” and “Debates, debates, EVERYWHERE!” Like an eager contestant on a game show, Trump declared he was ready to debate Biden anytime, anywhere, from a stadium to a McDonald’s parking lot if need be. He even said the debates could be run by the “Corrupt DNC” or their trusty sidekicks, the Commission on Presidential Debates (CPD). Trump was all in. But now? He’s pulling a full Houdini.
Trump vs. Harris round three? Not happening. But don’t worry – with Trump, there’s always a new plot twist waiting just around the corner. Stay tuned, America!