This story has everything: beatdowns, brown paper bags, FaceTime fumbles, NDAs with more clauses than Santa’s contract, and a man making $10.50/hour who found himself negotiating hush-money deals like he was in a Scorsese film. Let’s dive into DiddyGate 3000β’, starring one terrified hotel security guard and a music mogul doing the absolute most to keep his reputation (and his surveillance tapes) locked down.
Scene One: The Hotel, The Tape, The βOh Noβ
Itβs 2016. BeyoncΓ©βs βFormationβ is fresh. PokΓ©mon Go is ruining traffic. And at the InterContinental in L.A., a security guard named Eddy Garcia is just trying to do his jobβwatch cameras, sip stale coffee, and not get involved in celebrity drama.
Well. About that.
Eddy, who probably thought his wildest night at work would involve a minibar robbery, ends up watching a surveillance video of what he later realizes is Sean βDiddyβ Combs allegedly attacking Cassie. At the time, he had no clue who they were. Just two people, acting like WWE was happening in a luxury suite.
Law enforcement wasnβt called. No one asked for an ambulance. And Eddy? He was just trying to stay in his laneβ¦ until Kristina Khorram (Diddyβs chief of staff, not a Bond villain, despite the name) came in hot asking for the tape.
Eddy, being a professional (read: terrified), told her: βSubpoena, sweetie.β
But then… the call came.
Yes. That call.
Scene Two: FaceTime of the Rich & Infamous
First, Kristina rang. Then Diddy himself hopped on the phone, practically pleading, βThat tapeβs gonna end me, bro!β
Eddy reminded him: βI donβt even have server access.β
Diddy: βI got you, fam. I can take care of you.β
Translation? Cha-ching.
Eddy floated the idea to his boss, who responded like a Vegas bookie: β$50K and itβs yours.β
Diddy said, βDone. But I want the only copy. Not a bootleg, not a TikTok snippet. DELETE. IT. ALL.β
Diddy even pulled Cassie into a FaceTime to double-confirm she didnβt want that tape to see the light of day. According to Eddy, she co-signed: βYeah, not the vibe right now.β (Which is probably the politest way to refer to a felony assault video.)
Scene Three: The NDA & The Paper Bag of Doom
In true cloak-and-dagger fashion, an NDA was signedβone that basically said:
- Say nothing.
- Burn everything.
- Violate this and you owe a million bucks.<
Was the NDA read?
Eddy: βNo, I was shaking like a leaf in a wind tunnel.β
Same, bestie.
Then, as if he were auditioning for a role in Oceanβs Eleven: Celebrity Scandal Edition, Diddy returns with a brown paper bag and a money counterβyes, like the kind you see in drug cartel documentaries.
He starts counting:
$10K.
Another $10K.
Rinse, repeat.
Until he hits $100,000.
Apparently, the OG deal was $50K, but Diddy was feeling generous-ish. The extra cash was for the other security guards, making this the first time in history someone paid a six-figure bribe in exact increments like a rapper-turned-accountant.
Eddyβs cut? $30,000.
What did he buy? A used car. (Sirβ¦ you couldβve at least gone full opulence and bought a vintage convertible or a yacht with a hole in it.)
Diddy also offered life advice:
βDonβt make any big purchases.β
Aka: βDonβt be dumb, donβt buy a Lambo, and for the love of God, donβt flex on Instagram.β
Scene Four: Holy Texts & Job Hunting
Later, on Easter, Diddy texts Eddy:
βHappy Easter my angel, God is good.β
Right after making it rain to cover up an alleged assault.
God probably did not co-sign that message, FYI.
Oh, and yesβEddy did ask about a job with Diddyβs company after all this. Because clearly, nothing says βpotential hireβ like helping your new boss bury evidence.
But then the real problem came: the cops.
When investigators came knocking, Eddy allegedly fibbed harder than a guy on Hinge who says he’s 6’2″. But then he got a lawyer, got a little scared, and decided to tell the truth-ish.
Eddy Garcia went from $10.50/hour night shift security guard to bag man in a hip-hop thriller in the blink of a FaceTime.
The moral of the story?
- Don’t sell surveillance footage.
- NDAs with million-dollar penalties are not your friend.
- And if Diddy ever says βGod is goodβ while handing you hush money in a Trader Joeβs bagβRUN.
This has been a bonkers dispatch from the reality show weβre all trapped in, called Earth.