Chappell Roan is no longer interested in playing nice with the “Creepy Club.” You know who you are. Yes, you, lurking behind that social media account, thinking it’s okay to behave like a wild raccoon on caffeine.
The 26-year-old “Good Luck Babe” singer, who skyrocketed to fame faster than you can say “TikTok sensation,” has had it up to here gestures vaguely above head with the bizarre, downright spooky antics from some of her so-called “fans.”
In a TikTok video that can only be described as a verbal roundhouse kick, Chappell decided it was time to lay down the law. She opens with what could be the theme for an entirely new TV show: Answer These Questions Honestly (Or Else).
“Okay, listen up, team. Imagine you see a random woman minding her own business on the street. Now, would you think, ‘Hey, this seems like the perfect time to shout at her from my car window like I’m in some weird, twisted drive-thru’? No? Great, we’re off to a good start.
But wait, there’s more! Would you waltz up to this random lady, who clearly has her own life, and demand a photo? No, seriously, just march up to her and, when she declines (because duh, she’s got things to do), would you have the audacity to throw a tantrum like a toddler denied candy? Newsflash: Not cool. But it doesn’t stop there—would you then decide to stalk her and her family, dissect her life like you’re a part-time detective, and turn into a keyboard warrior spewing nonsense online? No? Then congrats, you’re officially a functioning human being!”
And then, in the cherry-on-top moment of the year, Chappell drops this truth bomb: “I’m a random bitch. You’re a random bitch. Sit with that for a second.” Mic drop. We could all use a moment to ponder that, right?
But wait, the saga continues with a sequel! In her next TikTok installment, Chappell serves up more spicy truth with a side of “I-am-so-done-with-this.”
“Look, I get it, the whole ‘being famous’ thing apparently comes with a free pass for people to act like they’re starring in a low-budget horror film. But guess what? I didn’t sign up for that part of the script. Just because I’ve chosen a career that puts me in the spotlight doesn’t mean I’m okay with being harassed like I’m the last roll of toilet paper during a pandemic. Seriously, can we not?”
Chappell is here to make it abundantly clear: She’s not interested in whatever bizarre “fan privilege” you think comes with her fame. “If you see a celeb out in the wild and think, ‘Ooh, let me snag a photo, hug, or just a minute of their life,’ hold up! That’s not normal. That’s what we call ‘weird.’ We don’t know each other, Karen! Just because you’ve streamed my song a hundred times doesn’t mean we’re besties. I’m totally allowed to say no to creepy behavior. Spoiler alert: No means no.”
Chappell Roan is done with the creep-fest, and she’s not mincing words about it. Fans, take note: If you wouldn’t do it to a random person on the street, don’t do it to her. Let’s keep it classy.
@chappellroan
