Okay so apparently Hollywood woke up one day, chugged six Red Bulls, and greenlit the most chaotic biopic ever — and we’re obsessed. Ladies, gents, and everyone currently eating McNuggets in a bathtub: Channing Tatum is now officially Short Shorts Daddy™.
In the poster for his new fever dream of a film Roofman, Channing is SERVING camp, chaos, and criminal activity. He’s rocking:
🔹 A bright blue tee that says “I commit crimes but make it fashion”
🔹 White short shorts that scream “thighs for days”
🔹 Yellow sunnies because duh
🔹 A pool floatie — just in case vibes get too deep
🔹 Oh, and a literal TEDDY BEAR BACKPACK riding his shoulders like a Build-A-Bro
And yes, he’s holding a gun. Because nothing says “former Army Ranger turned McDonald’s roof robber” like a weapon paired with pool accessories.
Now before you scream “this has to be fake,” IT’S BASED ON A TRUE STORY. Roofman is all about Jeffrey Manchester (played by Tatum), a dad and ex-military dude who literally broke into McDonald’s restaurants THROUGH THE ROOF. Like Spider-Man, but for fries. 🍟💥
And then — because this man said “I crave drama” — he ESCAPED prison and moved into a freaking Toys “R” Us, where he lived in secret for six months. SIX. MONTHS. Surviving off snacks, vibes, and probably Nerf gun energy.
But wait. It gets more unhinged.
He falls in love with Kirsten Dunst (yas queen) who plays a divorced mom with taste in bad boys and zero background-checking skills. Cue a wild love story, emotional chaos, and probably some very awkward “so where do you live?” convos.
Also starring:
✨ Ben Mendelsohn (you just know he’s playing a tired cop)
✨ LaKeith Stanfield (we stan)
✨ Juno Temple (bring the curls and the drama)
✨ Uzo Aduba (legend behavior)
✨ Peter Dinklage (he will probably steal every scene, as he should)
Roofman crashes into theaters on October 10 and honestly? This movie is already more iconic than your last relationship.
#Roofman #ShortShortsSzn #ChanningTatumButUnhinged
