Brad Pitt is throwing a hissy fit that could rival a toddler’s tantrum! The Hollywood heartthrob, or should we say “whine”-throb, has recently given Angelina Jolie a taste of his melodramatic flair. In a shocking twist of events, Brad wants to keep their French winery, and he’s not afraid to take it to court.
He’s stomped his foot, or rather, filed a motion, begging a Los Angeles Superior Court judge to crush Jolie’s recent attempt to undo her sale. Last year, Pitt decided to sue Jolie because she dared to part ways with her share of a French winery called Chateau Miraval, a vineyard they purchased while they were still bound in holy matrimony.
Apparently, Brad had grand visions of becoming a wine magnate. He dreamt of sipping wine with his kids and passing the vineyard legacy down through the generations. But alas, that dream went down the drain, much like an overaged bottle of vinegar. After their 2016 divorce, Jolie sauntered over to Pitt in 2021, probably with a glass of wine in hand, and said, “Hey, Brad, can you kindly get out of our wine business?” Brad, being the ever-accommodating ex-husband, agreed.
He diligently started hunting for a buyer, and after much vino-fueled negotiation, they agreed on a deal where Brad would cough up a whopping $54 million for Angelina’s 50% stake. However, as luck would have it, the deal crumbled faster than a stale cracker when Jolie’s allegations of domestic discord against Pitt surfaced during their divorce proceedings.
In a twist that would put any wine-soaked soap opera to shame, Angelina waved goodbye to her share of Chateau Miraval, which was nestled in a company named Nouvel. She waved hello to a Russian oligarch named Yuri Shelfer. Pitt, with all the dramatic flair he could muster, declared that Jolie had betrayed him by selling her stake without his royal consent.
In his latest “Pitt”-y motion, his attorney cried foul, saying that in 2021, Jolie sneakily dumped her stake in Château Miraval to a conglomerate owned by a Russian oligarch. Basically, she put Brad in business bed with a complete stranger, and invited that stranger not only into Pitt’s wine business but also into his family home! Talk about an uninvited wine and dine.
Pitt maintained that Jolie broke her promise not to sell her stake without his permission, and he’s as mad as a barrel of sour grapes about it. He’s pretty sure Jolie’s claims are as real as a unicorn riding a rainbow.
“Jolie is wrong,” said Pitt’s lawyer, who probably had a glass of Pinot Noir nearby for moral support. “The Complaint cites many statements Jolie made over the years. But in any event, implied-in-fact contracts based on conduct are well-established under California law, and the detailed factual allegations in the Complaint— which Jolie resists or ignores—state such a claim,” explained Pitt’s lawyer.
Brad wants you to know that Jolie’s attempts to dismiss his claims are about as useful as a corkscrew in a teetotaler’s kitchen. Cheers to the wacky world of Hollywood divorces!