In the ongoing saga of “I Can’t Dance, But I Still Won,” Bobby Bones has officially responded to Julianne Hough’s comments about his Dancing with the Stars victory. You see, on Watch What Happens Live!, Julianne was asked if she ever side-eyed a winner of the show. Without hesitation, fellow guest Mickey Guyton threw Bobby’s name into the mix like it was the hottest new TikTok dance challenge. And Julianne? Well, she jumped on that bandwagon faster than you can say “cha-cha-cha.”
Now, let’s be clear: Bobby Bones knows he dances like a dad at a wedding after too much punch. And he’s not mad about it.
In classic Bobby fashion, he responded with a level of humor and self-deprecation that would make even the most awkward wedding dancer feel like they have a shot at the Mirrorball Trophy.
“Julianne Hough can get no slander from me,” Bobby started, likely while practicing a two-step that involves more stepping on toes than smooth footwork. “I was the worst dancer. I take pride in that. Now, I tried as hard as anybody in the history of the show, but I can’t dance now, couldn’t dance then.”
Yes, this man is so comfortable with his lack of rhythm that he’s practically wearing it as a badge of honor. Like, forget the Mirrorball Trophy, where’s his trophy for Most Uncoordinated Yet Strangely Victorious Human Ever?
But Bobby didn’t stop there. Oh no, he doubled down on his anti-dancing credentials like a true champion of, well, not-dancing.
“You know who took down the big evil empire of dance?” he said, before reminding us that there’s no empire and it’s definitely not evil.“Me and you! We did it together!” He’s basically the Luke Skywalker of bad dancing, but instead of a lightsaber, his weapon is a complete lack of coordination. And who was his Yoda? The fans! Yes, the same fans who voted him through despite his feet moving in ways that defy both gravity and logic.
But wait, there’s more! Bobby wasn’t just content with being the worst dancer. No, no. He went full Game of Thrones with it, crowning himself the “Greatest Champion Ever!” Forget Jon Snow, Bobby Bones is here to claim the throne of People’s Champion – armed with two left feet and a boatload of humility.
“I’m the man of the people! I didn’t say I was the greatest dancer, but the greatest champion ever!”< Move over Michael Jordan. Bobby Bones is rewriting the definition of "champion" one awkward shuffle at a time.
And let’s not forget the closing zinger: “Mickey Guyton, what? Julianne Hough, you’re cool. I’m a terrible dancer, but they changed the rules after I left because the fan vote was so good.”That’s right. Bobby’s victory was so shocking, they had to go back and recalibrate the entire show. He didn’t just win Dancing with the Stars, he fundamentally altered the space-time continuum of competitive ballroom dancing.
Julianne saw the response and laughed, commenting with a “Hahaha 😂 👏.” Translation: Even she can’t hate on the level of self-awareness Bobby is serving up.
Bobby Bones: Terrible dancer, self-proclaimed champion of champions, and the guy who will forever remind us that sometimes, fan love is stronger than the tango.
