Breaking News: Bobbi Althoff, the internet sensation and viral podcaster extraordinaire, has stepped onto the divorce rollercoaster with her estranged husband, Cory Althoff. After a solid four-year ride through the ups and downs of matrimony, Cory decided to hit the eject button and file for divorce. But fear not, Bobbi has emerged from the depths of relationship turmoil to grace us with a statement fit for the digital age.
In a move that surprised absolutely no one who’s been refreshing their social media feeds like it’s a part-time job, Bobbi took to Instagram to spill the tea. With all the subtlety of a wrecking ball crashing through a glass house, she announced, “Guess what? Cory and I are officially uncoupling. It’s like conscious uncoupling, but with more emojis and less Gwyneth Paltrow.”
But hold onto your hats, because Bobbi didn’t stop there. She went on to sprinkle some heartfelt sentiments amidst the chaos, declaring, “Sure, our marriage hit the rocks faster than a smartphone dropped in a toilet, but hey, I’m grateful for the memories. And can we talk about Cory as a dad? The man’s a legend. Our girls hit the parent jackpot, people!”
And just when you thought you’d need a box of tissues to get through this emotional rollercoaster, Bobbi hit us with the ultimate plot twist: “Despite the dumpster fire that was our marriage, Cory and I are still tight. We’re like the divorced couple version of Ross and Rachel, minus the lobster references. I’ll always have love for him, even if our marriage was about as stable as a Jenga tower after a round of tequila shots.”
Another day in the wild world of internet celebrities, where even divorces come with hashtags and sponsored content opportunities. Stay tuned for more drama, because let’s face it, this is just the beginning of the saga.