Billie Eilish and Nat Wolff are keeping the world on the edge of its collective seat with a romance mystery that rivals any true crime podcast.
The 23-year-old queen of sad bangers and oversized clothing was seen out and about with the 30-year-old ex-Naked Brothers Band heartthrob (yes, you are that old) on Tuesday night (March 25) in New York City.
The crime?
They were caught walking into a theater together. Scandalous. Somebody call the paparazzi—oh wait, they already did.
Fashion Report: Serving Looks or Just… Walking?
Billie rocked black pants, a white zip-up jacket, a mysterious graphic hat, and a leopard-print handbag, which feels like the most random character customization in a video game.
Nat, meanwhile, stepped out in a brown suede jacket, blue pants, and Adidas sneakers, making it clear that he is a man who owns a suede jacket and isn’t afraid to wear it in unpredictable weather.
Are They Dating? Or Are We Just Bored?
According to a source who either knows them personally or just enjoys lying for sport, Billie and Nat are absolutely not dating.
“They’re more like siblings than anything else,” the source told IconicHipster.com, which officially places them in the dreaded ‘platonic zone.’ RIP, romance rumors.
The source also added:
“Billie is much more interested in women right now.”
Translation: Everybody calm down.
Nat: Billie’s #1 Hype Man
The romance speculation got a sequel after Nat rushed to Billie’s defense on Instagram, clapping back at haters who dared suggest she doesn’t write her own music.
“Ur wrong,” he commented, hitting us with the digital equivalent of a courtroom objection. He then added,
“They co-write everything together and are both geniuses. That kind of question is so annoying.”
So, to recap:
– They’re not dating (allegedly).
– They’re like siblings (according to a very chatty ‘source’).
– Nat will fight strangers online for Billie’s honor.
– Nat and his brother, Alex Wolff, are currently opening for Billie on tour.
– Nat also made an appearance in Billie’s “CHIHIRO” music video, which means he’s contractually obligated to defend her for eternity.
Final Verdict: Just Friends… Or the Most Elaborate PR Stunt Ever?
Whether they’re BFFs, work buddies, or just two people who enjoy attending the same events, one thing is clear—the internet refuses to mind its business.
Stay tuned for the next thrilling installment of “Are They Dating? Probably Not, But Let’s Overanalyze Anyway.”
