Andrew Tate is firing back at allegations that he went full WWE during an intimate moment with his ex-girlfriend, insisting the claim is as bogus as a reality show love story.
Tate’s legal squad, probably wearing sunglasses indoors and holding tiny espresso cups, told IconicHipster.com, “Andrew Tate categorically denies this absurd accusation and will sue the absolute hell out of anyone who so much as breathes in its direction.”
As we previously reported, Bri Stern filed a sexual assault report, claiming Tate went full Mortal Kombat on her in a Beverly Hills Hotel suite on March 11. TMZ even got hold of photos showing bruises on her face, which she says were courtesy of Tate’s aggressive behavior during their, uh, “quality time.”
But wait—Tate’s legal eagles aren’t just sipping their espressos quietly. Oh no. They’re firing back, saying, “Once again, the media is out here crafting fairy tales. Those photos? Not even taken at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Not taken at night. Heck, not even taken on this planet, for all we know.”
And if that wasn’t enough, they suggest Bri’s allegations conveniently popped up only after Tate declined to fly her to New York on a private jet—because nothing says “true love” like a complimentary first-class ticket.
But wait, there’s more! Bri did end up in New York, where she visited the ER and was reportedly diagnosed as “post-concussive.” Which, if true, means her head was doing the same thing Twitter does whenever Andrew Tate tweets—spinning.
Then, there’s the whole text message situation. TMZ obtained what look like texts where Tate allegedly talks about “beating” Bri. But Tate’s lawyers are having none of it, saying, “Screenshots? Please. This is 2025. AI can make a Pope-puffer-jacket meme in seconds. Where’s the metadata? Where’s the proof? Where’s the damn logic?”
At the end of the day, Tate’s team claims the media loves making him the bad guy, because nothing sells better than a convenient villain. “We get it. Andrew Tate is the ‘big bad’ of the internet. But reality isn’t clickbait. And last we checked, courts don’t convict based on viral headlines.”
Will this legal showdown end with a dramatic courtroom moment? Or just another Tate monologue about the Matrix? Stay tuned.
