Looks like Alabama Barker’s 2024 resolution to ditch the vape came with a plot twist—straight to the ER. Someone cue the dramatic Grey’s Anatomy music.
The 19-year-old Vogue-dropping rap sensation (and yes, proud offspring of rock god Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler) apparently decided to ghost her vape pen a month ago, saying, “It’s not you, it’s me.” But this breakup wasn’t exactly mutual, and things got messy.
According to TMZ (aka the unofficial diary of the stars), Alabama quit vaping cold turkey—because why ease into a healthy lifestyle when you can dive face-first into chaos? Fast forward to her feeling like a walking PSA for bad life choices: alone, panicked, and Googling “why do I feel like I’m dying without my vape.” Spoiler alert: Google wasn’t helping, so she hit up 911 instead.
The scene: Alabama, in full distress, being whisked away to a Los Angeles hospital where medical professionals undoubtedly gave her the side-eye before delivering the diagnosis: “Yep, kid, it’s called nicotine withdrawal. You just rage quit on a chemical addiction. That’s… bold.”
Doctors explained what we all learned from middle school health class: quitting cold turkey can send your body into full drama queen mode. No word yet on whether Alabama’s vape pen sent a “u up?” text during this ordeal, but we’re assuming it’s now collecting dust somewhere while quietly plotting revenge.
Oh, and the timeline here is murky—did this all go down before or after Alabama’s big 19th birthday bash on Christmas Eve? We don’t know, but if it was after, Santa definitely brought her a stocking full of life lessons this year.
As of now, Alabama’s keeping quiet about her hospital cameo, but let’s face it, this is exactly the kind of plot twist that makes its way into a hit rap single. Coming soon: “Cold Turkey Blues.”
