Taylor Alison Swift — queen of break-up ballads, certified trillionaire in cat hair, and possible time traveler — just casually said Jared Goff’s name on the New Heights podcast, and the sports universe has been flipped inside out like a Dior tote at a yard sale.
She was chatting with her boyfriend (Travis Kelce, NFL’s human Greek statue) and his brother Jason, when she confessed that before dating Travis she knew literally nothing about football. Like, her version of the NFL was Jared Goff and Josh Allen being released into a cage match, someone blows a whistle, and then boom… “grrr” noises until someone wins. Honestly? I would watch. That’s my Super Bowl now.
Naturally, the Swiftie-to-Sports pipeline exploded. Millions of people heard the name “Jared Goff” on the lips of Mother, and in that moment, Goff became hotter than iced lattes in July.
When reporters asked him about it, the Detroit Lions QB basically had a full-body blush. “Yeah, pretty crazy, huh? Very cool, I guess,” he said, like a man trying to play it chill while secretly Googling “what does it mean if Taylor Swift says your name.” He admitted his phone basically turned into a Vegas slot machine after the mention, buzzing nonstop.
Taylor Swift just canonized Jared Goff in pop culture history, his DMs are probably on fire, and I’m starting a petition for her to narrate every NFL game like a chaotic Disney princess.