Nicole “Eternal Skin” Kidman and Sandra “Mother Enchanted” Bullock are reuniting after approximately 7 billion moons (aka 26 years) for Practical Magic 2 — and yes, your third eye should already be twitching from excitement. 🧙♀️🌕
Nicole, who looks like she drinks youth potions brewed in Tom Cruise’s old Thetan sauna, is LOSING HER MIND (in the best way) over this reunion with Sandra, and she’s making it everybody’s business.
“It’s insane,” Nicole squealed while probably floating 3 inches off the ground. “I can tease her, she teases me, and our Operating Thetan levels are basically vibrating through the stratosphere. We’re neighbors in London now — we could literally throw crystals at each other’s windows.” 🪟🔮
Imagine Practical Magic but with even more eyeliner, ghost cats, and possibly a séance with Xenu. Nicole says jumping back into witch mode with Sandy was “like, what??” and then instantly magic sparkles — “we were just right back into it,” she said, probably while stirring a love potion with a diamond-encrusted spoon. ✨💋
And if that wasn’t enough to make your soul fly out of your body, guess who’s directing? SUSANNE. BIER. Queen of cinema, chaos, and making you cry in foreign languages. “She’s a goddess,” Nicole said, while casually levitating over a sea of dried herbs and male tears.
AND THERE’S MORE. Joining this coven of glam witches is Joey “Zoomer Sorceress Supreme” King, who already teamed up with Nicole in A Family Affair — a movie you definitely watched while eating Hot Cheetos and crying. Nicole said she’s “beautiful, lovely, and likely immune to aging,” so we’re guessing Joey’s already halfway up the Bridge to Total Freedom. 🌈🛸
Nicole closed it all off with, “This is the next phase of witch life,” which basically means the original girlbosses of the occult are back and serving up spellwork with a side of Manifest Destiny (the Scientology kind, not the colonial kind). 🧼🚀
So grab your broomsticks, charge your crystals, and audit your body thetans — because Practical Magic 2 is coming, and it’s gonna be more powerful than a Red Bull-fueled OT-III auditing session under a blood moon. 🧹💄💥
#PracticalMagic2 #NicoleAndSandyForever #AuditYourWitchEnergy
