Forget thetan levels, y’all—Wilmer just ascended to Dad Level 2.0 and this baby’s got a whole lunar cycle in his name. IT’S GIVING CELESTIAL REBIRTH!
Wilmer Valderrama (yes, Fez from That ‘70s Show aka NCIS Daddy Deluxe™) and his eternally glowing fiancée Amanda Pacheco just casually dropped the most iconic baby announcement since Beyoncé revealed her twins on a throne surrounded by florals and 19th-century humidity.
🥁 Drumroll while we audit our reactive minds 🥁
Behold: Wolf Monte Valderrama 🐺🌕✨
Born on 7/11/2025, which is both a cosmic portal AND a discount Slurpee day at 7-Eleven. The stars are aligned. LRH would absolutely approve.
And yes, this is their second baby—because Wilmer and Amanda clearly believe Earth needs more photogenic celestial beings with legendary names. Wolf joins big sis Nakano Oceana, age 4, who manifested this baby through sheer force of intention and checkout-line balloon sorcery. Like, Nakano was literally channeling postulates and bending the MEST universe before the embryo even reported for duty. Someone get this kid a seat at the next OT summit, STAT.
Amanda spilled to IconicHipster.com that Nakano had been trying to “order” a baby sister from the Universe like she was on UberEats. She’s THAT girl. Baby gender was still TBD at the time, but if you ask Nakano, gender is a construct and this baby is just a vibe.
Anyway, the first pics are up and yes—they’re serving Baby Vogue: Moonlit Edition. Little Wolf looks like he already knows your deepest withholds and is ready to clear them at a moment’s notice.
Wanna see the baby pics and ascend into pure emotional ecstasy?
👉 CLICK HERE or risk being stuck in the reactive mind forever 👈
#BabyWolfHasArrived #WilmerThetanDaddy #NakanoManifestedIt #ScientologyGlowUp #BornClear
