Dolly Parton is a living legend. A beacon of fabulousness. A glittery rhinestone tornado of talent, style, and sass. And let’s be real, every single person who’s ever watched The Voice or American Idol probably daydreamed about her being a judge—because who wouldn’t want Dolly Parton gently critiquing their high notes while simultaneously serving life lessons and hair goals?
But don’t get too excited, guys. Despite all the pleading, begging, and possibly sending her a lifetime supply of rhinestones, Dolly is not committing to being a full-time coach on either show. Nope. Not gonna happen.
The 79-year-old country queen recently spilled the tea to E! News and told them why she’s got her boots firmly planted outside of the judges’ chair.
She said, “I’ve been asked to do that a lot of times. It’s too hard for me. That’s why I don’t accept it, because I know how sincere everybody is. Even if they’re not that good, they believe they are. And I just can’t hurt people.”
Translation: Dolly Parton is too nice to crush your dreams on national TV.
I mean, can you imagine Dolly softly telling someone, “Honey, I love ya, but you sound like a cat stuck in a dryer,” while keeping that signature smile? Yeah, we can’t either. She’s basically too sweet for The Voice or American Idol, because in Dolly’s world, no one should ever cry from embarrassment on TV. Plus, who needs to roast people when you’re busy being the actual human equivalent of sunshine and rainbows?
But don’t worry, she’s still been kind enough to drop in as a guest mentor, which is basically like getting a Dolly Parton Lite experience—like the Diet Coke of Dolly. It’s the real deal, but with a little less emotional carnage.
So, if you were hoping for a weekly dose of Dolly Parton judging your vocal ability on national television, you’ll have to keep dreaming. But hey, at least we can all agree that the world isn’t quite ready for a full-time Dolly judge… because it’s hard to sing when you’re laughing too much at Dolly’s legendary one-liners.
