Trump’s Attorney General Pamela Bondi Wants Luigi Mangione to Face the Ultimate Timeout—Forever

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We’ve got ourselves a situation. Attorney General Pamela Bondi just dropped the legal equivalent of a nuclear bomb on Luigi Mangione, telling prosecutors to go full “Game Over” on him and seek the death penalty.

If you’ve been living under a rock (or just avoiding depressing news, which is totally valid), here’s the tea: UnitedHealthcare executive Brian Thompson was tragically shot outside a Manhattan hotel on December 4. Enter Luigi Mangione, who got arrested days later and has been playing courtroom musical chairs ever since.

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Bondi came in hot with a statement that basically read like a trailer for a crime drama:

“Luigi Mangione’s murder of Brian Thompson — an innocent man and father of two young children — was a premeditated, cold-blooded assassination that shocked America. After careful consideration, I have directed federal prosecutors to seek the death penalty in this case as we carry out President Trump’s agenda to stop violent crime and Make America Safe Again.”

Translation: “Luigi, you really messed up, and now we’re bringing out the big guns (legally speaking, of course).”

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What makes this even wilder? Luigi somehow has fans. Like, actual fans. People are sending him money while he awaits trial, because apparently, some people took “support your local business” and applied it to alleged criminals.

Stay tuned—this case is shaping up to be more dramatic than a telenovela, and you know we’ll be watching. 🍿

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