You guys. You guys. YOU. GUYS. The latest episode of America’s Next Top Dictator just dropped and let’s just say… Rosie O’Donnell is not here to play pattycake with President Spray Tan.
So here’s the tea, the drama, the absolute chaos: Donald “I Yell At Cheeseburgers” Trump got on his prehistoric meme app Truth Social (aka Facebook for uncles who own 17 pairs of camo shorts) and legit threatened to revoke Rosie O’Donnell’s U.S. citizenship. Like, sir… this isn’t Survivor. You can’t just vote people off the island because they hurt your feelings in 2006.
Apparently, Rosie (queen, icon, legend, shoutout to ‘Harriet the Spy’) had the audacity to do what we all daydream about during math class—she packed her bags and dipped to Ireland the second Trump got elected again. And now, Mr. Orange Is the New Whack is big mad.
“Rosie O’Donnell is not in the best interests of our Great Country,” Trump posted from his dusty keyboard. “She is a Threat to Humanity!”
Okay but like… more of a threat than climate change? Than a Crocs-and-socks combo?? Than Trump’s hairline defying gravity??
Rosie was NOT having it. She stomped into Instagram like a WWE diva in a rainbow boa and slayed him with one paragraph more powerful than a thousand Irish blessings. She opened with a chef’s kiss insult:
“18 years later and I still live rent-free in that collapsing brain of yours.”
🫢🫢🫢 SCREAMING. CHOKING. FALLING DOWN THE STAIRS.
Then she went full ✨monologue✨ mode. She called herself everything Trump fears:
- a loud woman 💅
- a queer woman 🌈
- a mother who tells the truth 👏
- an American who peaced out before the dumpster fire fully ignited 🔥🇺🇸
She went full poetry slam, saying “You build walls, I build a life for my autistic kid.” You sell fear on golf courses, she makes art about surviving trauma. He lies and degrades, she nurtures and persists. Like HELLO?? When did Rosie O’Donnell become the final boss of emotional intelligence?
And then—THE FINISHING MOVE. The Mortal Kombat KO. The tweet heard ‘round the tangerine palace:
“Try it, King Joffrey with a tangerine spray tan. I’m not yours to silence. I never was. 🇮🇪”
Mic. Freaking. Drop.
So if you’re keeping score:
- Trump: tried to cancel Rosie like she’s a Netflix show.
- Rosie: responded like a glitter-powered thunderstorm of facts, feelings, and full-on literary flame.
Next week on this political soap opera: Trump tries to deport Billie Eilish for wearing baggy clothes and liking sharks. Stay tuned, Gen Z.
#RosieVsTrump #RentFreeInHisHead #SprayTanDownfall 🧡💅🍀