Buckle up because this might be the most morbidly wholesome story you’ll hear this week.
So, Teddi Mellencamp—yes, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Teddi—is currently battling stage 4 melanoma (which is no joke), and while she’s facing it with a warrior’s spirit and a podcast mic, her dad, the one and only rock legend John Mellencamp, is out here… planning her burial like it’s a family vacation.
Yep. Papa Mellencamp is deep in “Where should Teddi be eternally resting?” mode, and Teddi? She’s just trying to take a bubble bath in peace.
“My dad calls me 11 times in a row. Eleven. I finally pick up and say, ‘I’m in the bath. Let me live a little.’”
Plot twist: He wasn’t checking on her—he was checking if she wanted a spot in the family mausoleum.
Sir. SIR. 💀
Naturally, Teddi’s like, “Cool cool… but can my kids come too?” She’s got three little ones—Slate (12), Cruz (10), and Dove (5)—and John’s response was basically architectural blueprints meets goth dad energy:
“The top five go in the middle, then there’s gonna be, like, mini grave nooks around the outside. Like the VIP section for souls.”
Because nothing screams “family bonding” like grave real estate planning.
And when Teddi asks, “Do I need to decide right now?” John’s like:
“You’re already doing your will, might as well throw in a mausoleum RSVP.”
Casual. Chill. Just dinner-and-death convo, no biggie.
The kicker? Teddi’s not even mad about it. She told her podcast co-host Tamra Judge she’ll have to go to Indiana now to check out her future dirt condo. And being the icon she is, she already knows what she wants engraved on her tombstone:
“Hot girls never die.”
Honestly, put it on a T-shirt. Or better yet, a gravestone. 💅
So while we send love and strength to Teddi on her health journey, we also salute her for making grave decisions with humor and grace. And shoutout to John Mellencamp for being the most aggressively prepared dad in the history of ever.
Moral of the story: even in the darkest moments, there’s always room for dad jokes, mausoleum mapping, and tombstone sass.
