The Taylor Swift Train has officially left the station and it’s not stopping anytime soon. In a move that surprised absolutely no one (except maybe Taylor’s pet cat), the 34-year-old songstress has single-handedly taken over the Billboard charts like a musical tornado in stilettos.
Breaking more records than a clumsy bull in a china shop, Taylor’s latest masterpiece, “The Tortured Poets Department,” bulldozed its way through the industry, selling a whopping 2.6 million equivalent album units in its debut week. If that doesn’t make you want to stand up and slow clap, I don’t know what will.
Not content with just dominating the album charts, Taylor decided to sprinkle a little extra magic on the Hot 100 singles chart. How, you ask? By claiming not one, not two, but a jaw-dropping 14 spots in the top 55. It’s like Taylor Swift bingo up in here, and she’s calling all the shots.
Now, let’s take a peek at some of the gems Taylor has bestowed upon us mere mortals:
We’ve got “Fortnight,” a collaboration with Post Malone that’s so catchy, you’ll be humming it in your sleep. And “Down Bad,” because apparently, even international superstars have their off days. But fear not, Taylor’s here to serenade us through the rough patches.
Then there’s “My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys,” a heartfelt ode to dysfunctional relationships everywhere. Because let’s face it, who hasn’t been there, am I right?
And let’s not forget “I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can),” because nothing says romance like a healthy dose of delusion. Oh, Taylor, you never fail to entertain.
But the fun doesn’t stop there! Taylor’s also got “The Manuscript,” because why write a book when you can just drop a killer track instead? Who needs literature when you’ve got Taylor Swift lyrics to dissect?
So, next time you find yourself scrolling through the Billboard charts, just remember: it’s not a glitch, it’s Taylor Swift asserting her dominance in the most fabulous way possible. Bow down, world, for the queen of pop has spoken. And she’s not done yet.
