Sofia Vergara Won’t Be Joining Dating Apps Anytime Soon

Sofia Vergara, the perpetually bubbly 51-year-old actress, is on the hunt again for a new “partner in crime” after her separation from the strapping Joe Manganiello in 2023. But fear not, for Sofia’s quest for love is not without its hilarious mishaps and candid confessions.

When quizzed by the Daily Mail about her ventures into the wild world of dating apps, Sofia confessed her technological incompetence with a comedic flair that could rival any sitcom script. “No, I wish! I’m bad with technology, so I’m sure I would click on the wrong ones. I’m open to having fun and meeting people,” she exclaimed, probably imagining the chaos of accidentally swiping left on Prince Charming.

But hold onto your seats, because Sofia’s not here to play by society’s rules of desperate housewife tropes. Oh no, she’s more nonchalant than a cat on a windowsill. “I need a husband! No, I don’t need a husband, I want one. It doesn’t even have to be a husband. A partner,” she declared, flipping the script on the whole ‘damsel in distress’ narrative like a true boss lady.

In 2023, the world gasped as Sofia and Joe announced their uncoupling, but fear not, romantics, for their parting words were as sweet as a rom-com finale. “We have made the difficult decision to divorce. As two people that love and care for one another very much, we politely ask for respect for our privacy at this time as we navigate this new phase of our lives,” they declared in unison, probably with a dramatic flourish for added effect.

Insider scoops revealed that this Hollywood power couple had been drifting apart like mismatched socks in the laundry. “They have been growing apart for some time now and tried to resolve things, but they are focused on different areas of their lives,” spilled the tea source to PEOPLE, leaving us all to wonder if even the glitziest of couples are immune to the mundane perils of mismatched priorities.

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So, as Sofia Vergara embarks on her quest for love and laughs, we can’t help but root for this fiery Latina to find her happily ever after, complete with a side order of comedic relief. After all, in a world as chaotic as a sitcom writer’s room, sometimes all you can do is laugh, love, and swipe right on life.

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