Sheryl Crow has a wild story to tell, and no, it’s not the lyrics to a new country-pop protest anthem (though let’s be real, we’d stream that immediately). The 63-year-old “All I Wanna Do” singer just dropped a barn-burner of a tale about life in Tennessee — where apparently, the wildlife includes armed intruders and angry Elon Musk fanboys.
In an interview that felt part confessional, part horror movie, Sheryl said she sold her Tesla as a protest against Elon Musk — not because it ran out of battery at a Buc-ee’s, but because Elon started using Dogecoin (yes, the meme coin!) to slash government services. Because nothing says “fun decentralized currency” like your local post office closing early, right?
But the real plot twist? After she ditched the Tesla, a man with a gun just waltzed onto her property like he was auditioning for a reboot of “Yellowstone.”
“He was in my barn,” she said. “ARMED.” And we don’t mean emotionally — we’re talking actual weaponry here.
Now, if you’re thinking “Wait, didn’t Sheryl Crow once go off on Walmart for selling guns?” — yes, Sherlock, she did. But as she put it, back then, not everyone was strapped like Rambo on a bad day. And she wasn’t living in Tennessee, where apparently toddlers might be packing heat and the squirrels are probably armed, too.
Sheryl’s been living in Tennessee for over two decades now — she moved there after her split from Lance Armstrong and her breast cancer diagnosis. She raised her kids in the South, probably hoping for sweet tea and porch swings — not pistol-packing randos trespassing into her barn like it’s a deleted scene from “The Purge: Country Edition.”
Now, she’s feeling hella conflicted about her Southern digs.
“Tennessee is hard for me,” she confessed. “I struggle.” Which is probably the most polite way of saying “Y’all, I’m hanging on by a guitar string.” But instead of packing up and moving to Portland or somewhere with oat milk lattes on tap, she’s staying and fighting the good fight.
Every. Single. Morning. She calls her reps — shoutout to Andy Ogles and Marsha Blackburn, who are definitely blocking her number by now. “Are they laughing?” she wonders. Probably. Nervously. While clutching their voicemail inboxes.
Quoting Jimmy Carter (because when in doubt, channel an actual decent human), Sheryl reminded us, “As long as there’s legal bribery, we won’t ever have fair elections.” And she’s not wrong. So she’s not just calling reps — she’s showing up to rallies, raising her voice, and probably writing the catchiest protest song we’ve never heard… yet.
Sheryl Crow: singer, survivor, barn protector, and the unexpected face of progressive persistence in a red state. If she starts selling “Get outta my barn” merch, we’re buying.
