“No, I’m not doing ‘Lolita’ cosplay, babes. I just like grass and water. Chill.”
Sabrina “Sprinkler Princess” Carpenter has officially gone full “NOT TODAY, SATAN” on the internet after someone tried to connect her W Magazine photoshoot to the chaotic cinematic fever dream that is Lolita — you know, that movie about the world’s most horrifying English teacher. Ew.
Here’s the sitch: some TikTok user with way too much time and WiFi (shoutout @arcafan999) decided to post a side-by-side of Sabrina lying all cute ‘n wet under a sprinkler and Dominique Swain in Lolita doing… basically the same thing. Cue the overthinking, cue the fake film critic TikTok voice: “So basically this is problematic because—”
But hold up. Queen Sabrina wasn’t having ANY of it.
She popped into the comment section faster than you can say “I’m a grown woman who looks like she orders off the kids’ menu” and wrote:
“i’ve never seen this movie. it’s never been on my mood board and never would be.”
READ IT AGAIN. Mood board? BLOCKED. Dominique Swain? UNFOLLOWED. Vladimir Nabokov? NEVER HEARD OF HER.
But this TikToker would not quit. They clapped back using the lyrics from her very spicy “Nonsense” outro in Mexico City:
“fully grown but i look like a niña’ yh sure,” 👀
EXCUSE ME??? Quoting her own song against her like it’s a UNO reverse card? Who gave y’all this kind of confidence??
Just to remind you, the iconic lyrics in question were:
“I’m full grown but I look like a niña / Come put something big in my casita / Mexico, I think you are bonita!”
Yes, yes, yes — it’s giving naughty bilingual princess energy but also like… can a girl not lie in the grass anymore without a film studies major having a meltdown???
Let the girl hydrate under a sprinkler in peace.
TL;DR:
Sabrina Carpenter is not a Lolita stan. She just likes grass, water, and rhyming niña with casita.
Let’s all log off and go touch some actual grass.
#SprinklerGate #SabrinaSaidNope #MoodBoardDrama 🌊💅💦
